(Walking back from the Big shop on campus, down Parkwood path listening to Charlotte's ipod. A large-ish guy with almost shoulder length hair, coming the other way, starts to wave at me- i have no idea who he is, but casually fling my hand about as a half-kinda-"hi" and he veers towards me.)
Random Bloke (RB):(mouths) hey! (makes a gesture to tell me to pull out my headphone)
Me:(hesitantly pulling out headphone)Er...Hey?
Random Bloke:Amy George! How are you? (goes to hug me)
Me:(avoiding the hug by putting out my hand) Erm, i'm good, listen i'm really sorry, and this happens a lot so don't think i'm being rude or anything but have we met?
Random Bloke:(looks confused)Er, yeah, Amy, it's me- Jack!
Me:(thinking 'who?' and feeling bad) Right! erm, how do i know you, sorry?
'Jack':Er- we met at a mungo's last term, and at another one earlier on in this term!remember- i spilt my drink on you accidentally? you got really annoyed but then i made you laugh and we chatted for about half an hour afterwards?
Me:(Not remembering a single thing)I'm really sorry, but i don't remember that at all. This is going to sound awful, but was i drunk?
'Jack':Erm, i dunno, you seemed ok, maybe a bit tipsy- you had a few VKs...
Me:How many is 'a few'?
'Jack':If i remember rightly you'd had about 4-
Me:Yeah, i was drunk
'Jack':Really? On 4 VK's?
Me:What can i say?i'm all kinds of pathetic
'Jack':(laughing a bit too hard) yeah, i remember now, i really liked you because you made me laugh
Me:(Getting kinda nervous because no memory of him has occurred to me and he's still laughing- what i said wasn't even that funny) haha, well, you know, i try my best to spread the joy, so to speak
'Jack':So how come you never texted me back?
Me:(thinking WTF)I gave you my number?!
'Jack':Yeah!don't act so surprised- we got on really well!!
Me:(thinking 'really?why?you have long hair')yeah, well like i said i can't remember you so i probably didn't recognise the number or something and just ignored it- sorry
'Jack':(getting out his phone) well, how about i give you a call sometime?i'd love to meet up again
Me:(thinking 'ok, you need to leave now')Erm, i dunno-
'Jack':Oh, come on, what are you not single anymore?
Me:(deciding to lie as best as i can)Uh-huh, yeah, that's the trouble, i'm taken now, sorry
'Jack':(looking disappointed)Ah, what?who's the lucky guy?
Me:(looking shifty) Erm, er, Chris
'Jack':Chris?
Me:Yep- good ol' chris, we er, we met at the venue, and really hit it off you know
'Jack':Oh right, well how long have you guys been going out?
Me:(Thinking 'what is this 21 questions?' and panicking, knowing the lie will fall through soon)Er, like a month now, yeah, we er, we're really er, happy, you know?
'Jack':oh, well if you're happy then that's good
Me:(shiftily)Uh-huh
'Jack':How about i just call you anyway, for old times sake?
Me:(thinking we've met twice before this-what old time?!')Well, er-
'Jack':(looking at his phone)Your numbers 07843 555 559, right?
Me:(trying really hard not to laugh as i realise that isn't my number)Yep!that's the ticket!!you should definitely call me, er, jack right?
'Jack':(laughing too much again) Oh don't worry! I will!! see you soon then Amy!
(he goes to hug me and i put my hand out again)
Me:Yep, fo' shizzle you will!
'Jack':(laughing harder)HA!!fo' shizzle- you're hilarious! Take care!
And off he walked.
By far one of the strangest things to happen to me since i have been in Canterbury.
God, i'm so ashamed of myself. but strangely proud of my lie AND the fact that i was quite obviously trapped by him in Mungo's otherwise i wouldn't have given him a fake no- i only do that when im trapped. PHEW- cos for a minute when we were talking i thought i'd lost every principle i'd lay down for myself when it came to blokes and long hair.
MASSIVE SIGH OF RELIEF.
...
he didn't even look like a Jack, you know?
xXx
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