Definition of Cute:

xxx

bra wonders

Today was Connie's last exam. as a result, she and I ended up getting very, very, very drunk indeed. to be honest, i am still fairly under the inlfuence whilst writitng this, but it was too much for a tweet.

can i just say, any spelling mistakes are entirely my own; the fact that this is even legible is purely down to the heavy responsibility of spell check. beliebe me when i say i am FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

so basically, me and con left the venue at around 00@40am and decided to get a burger. after getting the burger, we decided to climb a tree. there are sevvral along eliot footpath and so we chose the one with the best anchorage, and hauled our arses up there.

desperate for a picture, i called out to a couple of girls walking along. i asked if they would take a picture and they said NO but then a guy, who was chasing after them said 'how'd you get up there' and then after taking our picture

he climbed up into the tree with us. the guy's names was Alex, and he was escaping his nagging girlfriend, elsie, who wanted him to walk her friend naiomi home. he told us he was fed up of it, and told elsie he was 'gonna stay in the tree, where he's free'.

after about 15 minutes some of alex's friends came along and dragged him out of the tree. me and connie agreed we should leaf (GET IT) too, and so departed from the tree. i said i had to be careful because my camera was in my hand, and if i lost it i would be dead.

We both got out of the tree. and i felt for my camera. it wasn't there. I asked connie if she remembered me giving it to her so i could be careful and she said no. we then spent the next 20 minutes or so searching up the tree, around the tree and asking various people if they knew where my camera was.

Connie came to conclusion alex or one of his friends had stolen it. I started to cry, because the camera was very expensive, and had been a 21st birthday present from my University friends and so meant a great deal to me. i sat down and started to sob, before connie said 'retrace your steps; what did you do before you came down?'

I said: 'well, i said i was worried about breaking my camera when climbing down the tree, and then i had an idea, so i-' and i gasped. i looked down at my top half, reached into my bra, and pulled out my camera.

i had put it in there for safety whilst climbing down the tree. connie could not stop laughing, and neither could i.

and thus ends the day, I found my lost camera in my bra.

seriously, im so drunk u cant even remembeer writing a lot of that. god bless you spellcheck.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I want this more than I want Rupert Grint

Normally I don't offer my body as trade, but in this case I'd be willing to make an exception;

http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/JURASSIC-PARK-Jeep-YJ-Sahara-MOIVE-PROP-REPLICA-/280681882660?pt=US_Cars_Trucks&hash=item4159f1a424

xXx

Mother Monster

How could i have ever doubted her?

One of the most beautiful, inspiring and talented women i have ever seen, or heard, or been inspired by.



I wrote this poem below after listening to 'Bad Romance'. The title is my homage to what surely must be one of the greatest pop songs ever recorded!

Je Veux Ton Revenge

Apologise now. And Mean it.
(I don’t say things I don’t mean)
And so, you’ve handed me the shining, treacherous keys,
(That reflect the glisten of grief in my eyes; this is how you say sorry? Jesus...)
To whatever soft top, faster-than-fuck coupe
I feel like driving off a cliff today.
‘Thank you’, turning fast and walk so that it
Makes me move the way
The way I know you
Like it too
(This’ll make him sorry)
Left to right, I feel the muscles up and down my back,
Working to maximum effect,
Leaving me feeling heavy and hung,
Leaving you gasping, eyes rolling, tongue lolling and your head light.
(I am Pavlov, you are DOG)
I follow your eyes from the back of my head to the crease just above the rise of my jeans,
And your hand reaches down as I move,
swiftly like a cat does to evade the stroke of a stranger,
To avoid your finger tips:
‘Not yet-
Leave me alone to mope for a while.
I promise I’ll come (back for you) with a dazzling smile.’

-----
I think what I love the most is you can tell how much she appreciates what she has, and when she writes and sings it really seems to be for her fans. Just... wow.

Luvvie gushing over.

xXx

Size (Never) Matters

There has never been a time in my life where I have been 'slim'. When I was younger I was a lot bigger than most of the other girls around me, and believe me when I say they let me know about it. But when I reached 14 I started playing more sports (rounders FTW), and puberty took it's course, and I lost a couple of stone and went down from a, at my age and height simply obese, size 18 to a more manageable size 14. Since then, I have always been that size; I am 5'2" and size 14. That is my size.

I have tried very hard in the past to lose weight. I mean, really hard. Diets, excessive exercise. There was a period of time I am ashamed to admit where I avoided eating altogether. And do you know what happened? Nothing. I lost no weight. My legs became slightly more toned, but my tummy and thighs still wobbled as much as they used to. My fitness levels were brilliant, but my body did not change.

I came to this simple conclusion; In the same way that many slim people can eat whatever they wish and not gain a pound, I can exercise and diet as much as I wish, and I will not lose a pound. It would be very easy to complain about this, hate myself and avoid mirrors and wearing wonderful clothes that show off my body shape. But I choose not to; I choose to accept who I am, and the shape I am. I love me as much as I can without dallying into arrogance, and I wear clothes that make the most of my shape. I don't shy away from showing myself and my personality off. I used to; I'm not gonna lie, there are still moments where I cannot stand my body (to be honest, If it were up to me I would be a size 12). But as my efforts have shown, it really isn't up to me!

I read a newspaper article today, that spoke of how less and less women feel it's necessary to tone up for the summer, because we have become lazy. It upset me, because I still try very hard to keep my fitness levels up, but I'm not what most people would consider 'toned up for summer'. I've recently taken up biking, and average out about 10 miles a day, and I'm probably fitter than some of the naturally slim people I know! I can imagine this is the case for a lot of women, for whom a lot of pressure is placed to be labelled 'toned for summer', but because we are not slim, does not mean we are lazy. How is 10 miles a day on a bike lazy? I'm not trying to tone up for summer, and I feel it's horrific that because a certain time of the year has come around suddenly we have to be picturesque statues walking around in bikinis. Some women simply don't have the choice, but the fact is we shouldn't be made to choose in the first place. There should be no expectations of appearance.

I long for a society where the mantra can be 'as long as you're happy'. This doesn't just apply to weight, but all issues of superficiality. Of course, in cases where a person's situation is detrimental to their health then something should be done. But, the fact remains that 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder'; no truer words have ever been spoken. People should stop trying to determine what should and should not be considered beautiful, and just let people be. At 5'2" and size 14, I am technically unfit and overweight and therefore by some considered ugly. But I'm not unfit; most days I don't consider myself to be ugly;I'm certainly not unhappy. I just am.

I would rather spend my time enjoying life than spending time wishing I was different. My friends and family think I am beautiful no matter what. My parents have always told us that the only things that matters is how happy we are. And there's no question of my happiness.

And that's just it; It is in the company of a happy soul that a person can experience real beauty. Not in the words or eyes of a person who knows nothing about you other than your dress size.

xXx