Ah 2010. Kage freaked me out this morning by telling me "Hey, G; you do realise that when the next decade's gone you're gonna be pushing 30...then think about how fast THIS decade's gone...enjoy"
She's a delightful girl.
I shall be ringing in...wait, is that right? or is it bringing in? errr daym i should know this. ok, delete as relevant;
I shall be ringing/ bringing in the new year with the lads and lasses of homefolkshire tomorrow night- Panders are taking care of Eli and we're going to Vic and John's.I'm kinda nervous- the last time i drank at Vic and John's i ended up throwing up out of a moving vehicle. COOL KID ALERT.
ALSO- in a rare moment of cool Panders have said Fozzatron can drink!it took much cajoling on the part of everyone, but the cajolement (word?not a word?for an English student i'm not all that eloquent) paid off so OH HUZZAH! shall be highlarryus to watch my young padawan divulge.
I've been trying to write a list of new years resolutions, but struggling somewhat. i dunno if it's just cos i'm reading far too much into it though. It's all for good reasons though. I mean, New Years resolutions come once a year-well done Amy- and are often seen as an opportunity to look back on yourself and analyse what you don't like about yourself and what you want to see change, and look at the mistakes you've made and make sure you don't make them again. But the things that i would usually resolve year after year having failed dismally to do so are...well, they're kinda resolved this time.
My resolutions used to be utterly preoccupied by bettering myself- i constantly considered myself not good enough or that i was just a bit of a waste of space, so i'd make resolutions like "Lose tons of weight", "try to be someone people will like", "Be more confident", etc etc- and for pretty much 19 years that was it. And genuinely for the first time ever i don't feel it's necessary to think of those things as situations that need to be resolved- which makes me smile so much it's insane!!
in the last half a year or so i turned a massive corner in my life, as after-school special that may seem, and i suddenly liked me for me. I found myself not constantly changing outfits for fear of looking too fat- i wear what i want when i want to because i want to. that doesn't sound too bad- but i used to plan outfits for hours at night thinking of ways to cover up more. Now? pfft, whatever is cleanest gets chucked on and i couldn't care less :D
Confidence is no longer an issue for me- and this is entirely down to university. the situations i was in where i had to hold my own, and the people i met who constantly let me know that i was perfectly capable of being who i wanted to have changed my entire spectrum of thinking. i know who i am now, and i stay true to it. and the difference it's made? Man, i hold my head higher every time i start to walk!!
And as far as being someone people want to like? the fact that so many of my old friends barely talk to me now shows me they were my friends for the wrong reasons. the friends i have now, and the people who like me now, as i am, they're the ones to worry about upsetting, not someone who knew they could walk all over and so that's what they did, cos that's not friendship.
and so my new years resolutions are thus;
-Be optimistic. just because one thing goes wrong doesn't mean it all will!
-Become more organised!!
-Smile at people ,even if you don't know them. not in a creepy way though :D
-learn how to play the piano
-get over your odd socks= good luck obsession!BLATES NOT TRUE!
-spend more time with all your friends
-write on your blog more, and for heavens sake keep up with your diary!!
-work harder!
-don't be so reliant on Panders et al
-Enjoy everything. just BE happy
And that's that :) it's so weird, i had no idea what i was gonna write under 'Here are my new years resolutions' until i suddenly started writing them...huh. i spose they were easier to write down than i anticipated!!
Have an amazing New Years Eve, New Years day and New Year my lovelies ^^ take care whatever you're doing and i'll see you in the new year :D
OH HUZZAH FOR THE RETURNAGE TO MY BLOGGATRON!!!
xXx
Thursday 31 December 2009
Wednesday 30 December 2009
Leave David Tennant alone!!! aka i disagree with the Daily Mail
Ah David Tennant. The man can literally do no wrong in the eyes of the British public. Unless you write for The Daily Mail- if you write for the Daily Mail than your opinion on EVERYONE and EVERYTHING changes every few articles, depending on the public feeling at the time, and how much of an opportunistic ‘let’s purposefully say things we know will antagonise people and make them talk about us more, that’s journalism, right?’ kinda person you are. In the eyes of The Daily Mail the world can do no right.
Let’s not beat about the bush here- DM dissed David. BUT up until this time they had been singing his praises- as had everyone in this fickle country. But now that he’s leaving Doctor Who, and appearing on TV shows to promote Doctor Who suddenly he’s annoying. Suddenly we don’t want to see David Tennant on our screens. ER, WHAT?? NO!!
David Tennant leaving Doctor Who- and I don’t care how sad I come across here- is genuinely devastating for people who love good TV. I’m not saying that the next series (driven by Stephen Moffat with that guy who’s face looks like it’s compiled of the material used to make Stretch Armstrong) is going to be rubbish- but Tennant has been such an amazing Doctor, and is such an incredible actor that I truly believe English telly has lost one of its best resources. The thing that gets me is just how fickle the British Public can be. People say ‘Us Brits love an underdog!’ Er, no, what ‘us Brits’ love is to build a person up ‘til their at their peak and then knock them down!! We revel in love/hate relationships with celebrities and genuine talent, and it bugs me so much!!
But the biggest thing that annoys me about this Article on the Daily Mail site ( http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1239280/How-Doctor-Who-little-help-Hamlet-took-BBC.html) is this section here;
"Yesterday the BBC came under fire for freezing out young acting talent by giving audiences an overdose of Tennant.
Conservative MP Nigel Evans, who sits on the Culture Media and Sport select committee, said: 'The BBC's public service remit was always about bringing on fresh talent.
'Sadly they seem to have got themselves stuck in the rut of chasing ratings and going populist.
'Relying on such an overkill of one particular person is freezing out a lot of opportunity for a lot of up and coming people.'
He added: 'Even the most dedicated fan might have thought that the BBC was turning into the David Tennant Corporation.
'I know thanks to digital TV we have 200 channels, but 200 channels of David Tennant doesn't seem to be much choice.'"
Ok, there are SO many things wrong here it's insane. I'm gonna cut it down into sections;
1) Ok, does everyone remember the ridiculousness that was the 'war on old age' that apparently happened at the BBC when they decided to replace Arlene Phillips- a no doubt talented woman who, let's face it, is oldish and had appeared on every other series of 'Strictly Come Dancing' up until that point, with Alesha Dixon- a young, talented woman who had only appeared as a contestant. So, this would be an example of giving young talent a chance to appear on Tv...so they weren't freezing out a lot of opportunity for, let's face it, an up-and-coming person, yes?
2)What, so because David Tennant is 38 and has appeared in Tv shows on the BBC before (perish the thought) he suddenly doesn't count as 'up and coming talent'?? He's one of the most talented actors we have in Britain, and he's not even reached his peak yet!!he's now in a TV show in America, and has been appearing in many films since having left Doctor Who- surely this counts as up and coming??
3)A lot of his appearances have been based on the promotion of Doctor Who- so unless these guys want some serious continuity errors to occur, surely it makes sense to have THE ACTOR PLAYING THE DOCTOR PROMOTING DOCTOR WHO??
4)'Sadly they seem to have got themselves stuck in the rut chasing Ratings and going Populist' says Conservative MP Nigel Evans, a man who despite his status as a committee member for Cuture Media and Sport is probably reading these opinions from cue cards hidden in his cuffs, and is certainly not jumping on any sort of bandwagon by attempting to comment on one of the most popular Tv shows in history? nah, MPs don't do that...they don't talk about things they don't understand under the assumption that if their name is seen next to something relatively popular then they too shall become popular by association...that never happens...
5)'Even the most dedicated fan might have thought that the BBC was turning into the David Tennant Corporation' Er, no...I don't . And i'm a dedicated fan. I'm probably not the most dedicated fan- that'll be the crazies with his face photoshopped in their photo album labelled 'Our Wedding'. But until i read this article it'd never occurred to me that he was appearing a lot. His final episodes of Doctor Who are being shown- he's not going to crawl into a cave is he?!
6)'I know thanks to digital TV we have 200 channels, but 200 channels of David Tennant doesn't seem to be much choice.' Ok, who is this guy?? i mean, i'm prone to exaggeration and will happily admit but if you're a politician TRYING to make a serious statement for people to actually take into consideration you don't follow it up with a sweeping statement that rings of sarcasm!!! i mean, i know i did.but i'm a 19 year old student. sarcasm is my only means of conveying ANY kind of emotion
7)IT'S DAVID TENNANT!!!who on god's GOOD EARTH complains about David Tennant being on the TV a lot??? IDIOTS!!THAT'S WHO!!
8)He's an Actor. A popular actor from a popular show. He's only doing his job. Leave the poor bugger alone.
I hope this came across as a reasonable argument, and not just the ranting of a young woman, besotted and annoyed. I do fear that the latter comes through that little bit more though...
xXx
Let’s not beat about the bush here- DM dissed David. BUT up until this time they had been singing his praises- as had everyone in this fickle country. But now that he’s leaving Doctor Who, and appearing on TV shows to promote Doctor Who suddenly he’s annoying. Suddenly we don’t want to see David Tennant on our screens. ER, WHAT?? NO!!
David Tennant leaving Doctor Who- and I don’t care how sad I come across here- is genuinely devastating for people who love good TV. I’m not saying that the next series (driven by Stephen Moffat with that guy who’s face looks like it’s compiled of the material used to make Stretch Armstrong) is going to be rubbish- but Tennant has been such an amazing Doctor, and is such an incredible actor that I truly believe English telly has lost one of its best resources. The thing that gets me is just how fickle the British Public can be. People say ‘Us Brits love an underdog!’ Er, no, what ‘us Brits’ love is to build a person up ‘til their at their peak and then knock them down!! We revel in love/hate relationships with celebrities and genuine talent, and it bugs me so much!!
But the biggest thing that annoys me about this Article on the Daily Mail site ( http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1239280/How-Doctor-Who-little-help-Hamlet-took-BBC.html) is this section here;
"Yesterday the BBC came under fire for freezing out young acting talent by giving audiences an overdose of Tennant.
Conservative MP Nigel Evans, who sits on the Culture Media and Sport select committee, said: 'The BBC's public service remit was always about bringing on fresh talent.
'Sadly they seem to have got themselves stuck in the rut of chasing ratings and going populist.
'Relying on such an overkill of one particular person is freezing out a lot of opportunity for a lot of up and coming people.'
He added: 'Even the most dedicated fan might have thought that the BBC was turning into the David Tennant Corporation.
'I know thanks to digital TV we have 200 channels, but 200 channels of David Tennant doesn't seem to be much choice.'"
Ok, there are SO many things wrong here it's insane. I'm gonna cut it down into sections;
1) Ok, does everyone remember the ridiculousness that was the 'war on old age' that apparently happened at the BBC when they decided to replace Arlene Phillips- a no doubt talented woman who, let's face it, is oldish and had appeared on every other series of 'Strictly Come Dancing' up until that point, with Alesha Dixon- a young, talented woman who had only appeared as a contestant. So, this would be an example of giving young talent a chance to appear on Tv...so they weren't freezing out a lot of opportunity for, let's face it, an up-and-coming person, yes?
2)What, so because David Tennant is 38 and has appeared in Tv shows on the BBC before (perish the thought) he suddenly doesn't count as 'up and coming talent'?? He's one of the most talented actors we have in Britain, and he's not even reached his peak yet!!he's now in a TV show in America, and has been appearing in many films since having left Doctor Who- surely this counts as up and coming??
3)A lot of his appearances have been based on the promotion of Doctor Who- so unless these guys want some serious continuity errors to occur, surely it makes sense to have THE ACTOR PLAYING THE DOCTOR PROMOTING DOCTOR WHO??
4)'Sadly they seem to have got themselves stuck in the rut chasing Ratings and going Populist' says Conservative MP Nigel Evans, a man who despite his status as a committee member for Cuture Media and Sport is probably reading these opinions from cue cards hidden in his cuffs, and is certainly not jumping on any sort of bandwagon by attempting to comment on one of the most popular Tv shows in history? nah, MPs don't do that...they don't talk about things they don't understand under the assumption that if their name is seen next to something relatively popular then they too shall become popular by association...that never happens...
5)'Even the most dedicated fan might have thought that the BBC was turning into the David Tennant Corporation' Er, no...I don't . And i'm a dedicated fan. I'm probably not the most dedicated fan- that'll be the crazies with his face photoshopped in their photo album labelled 'Our Wedding'. But until i read this article it'd never occurred to me that he was appearing a lot. His final episodes of Doctor Who are being shown- he's not going to crawl into a cave is he?!
6)'I know thanks to digital TV we have 200 channels, but 200 channels of David Tennant doesn't seem to be much choice.' Ok, who is this guy?? i mean, i'm prone to exaggeration and will happily admit but if you're a politician TRYING to make a serious statement for people to actually take into consideration you don't follow it up with a sweeping statement that rings of sarcasm!!! i mean, i know i did.but i'm a 19 year old student. sarcasm is my only means of conveying ANY kind of emotion
7)IT'S DAVID TENNANT!!!who on god's GOOD EARTH complains about David Tennant being on the TV a lot??? IDIOTS!!THAT'S WHO!!
8)He's an Actor. A popular actor from a popular show. He's only doing his job. Leave the poor bugger alone.
I hope this came across as a reasonable argument, and not just the ranting of a young woman, besotted and annoyed. I do fear that the latter comes through that little bit more though...
xXx
Thursday 24 December 2009
Wednesday 2 December 2009
Geek Crushing
Standing in the library, and i catch a spotty nervous guy (SPN) looking (read staring) at me;
Me:Er, hey- you rite?
SPN:(flustered) Is your hair naturally that colour?
Me:What? Oh, right, yeah no i dyed it.
SPN:It looks cool
Me:Really? Ah, cheers that's nice of you to say
SPN: You look like Jean Grey
Me:Huh? What X Men styley?
SPN: Yeah!Wait, you know who Jean Grey is?!
Me: Chhyeah. Well that's why i dyed my hair in the first place- i try and base my whole look on her, to go along with my telepathy and telekinesis
SPN: (looking shockingly impressed) REALLY?!?!
Me: No.
Ah, crushing a geek's spirit (sigh)... all in a day's work for the ultimate Geek's ideal woman...
xXx
Me:Er, hey- you rite?
SPN:(flustered) Is your hair naturally that colour?
Me:What? Oh, right, yeah no i dyed it.
SPN:It looks cool
Me:Really? Ah, cheers that's nice of you to say
SPN: You look like Jean Grey
Me:Huh? What X Men styley?
SPN: Yeah!Wait, you know who Jean Grey is?!
Me: Chhyeah. Well that's why i dyed my hair in the first place- i try and base my whole look on her, to go along with my telepathy and telekinesis
SPN: (looking shockingly impressed) REALLY?!?!
Me: No.
Ah, crushing a geek's spirit (sigh)... all in a day's work for the ultimate Geek's ideal woman...
xXx
Saturday 28 November 2009
Saturday 21 November 2009
The Joy of 3D
(after having taken out the lenses of the 3D glasses i got at the cinema I stroll into the living room wearing them)
Me:(singing)# I put the geeeek back into chiiic, i put the chiiic back into geeek#
Mum: Ooh are those your 3D ones?
Me: Yu-huh
Mum: Hang on (changes the channel), here, let me have a go
Me: Er...Ok
(Mum puts on the glasses and stares hard at the TV)
Me: Er, Ma?
Mum: Well, this is that Queen in 3D we taped- it's not making any difference whatsoever!!
Oh the PA on PANDY. you never fail to amaze me.
I later made her jump whilst she was outside having a shady cigarette by flying open the kitchen door wearing the aforementioned glasses and screaming "I'M IN 3D!!" at the top of my voice- she literally flew, like a little startled Yoda in a pink dressing gown
xXx
Me:(singing)# I put the geeeek back into chiiic, i put the chiiic back into geeek#
Mum: Ooh are those your 3D ones?
Me: Yu-huh
Mum: Hang on (changes the channel), here, let me have a go
Me: Er...Ok
(Mum puts on the glasses and stares hard at the TV)
Me: Er, Ma?
Mum: Well, this is that Queen in 3D we taped- it's not making any difference whatsoever!!
Oh the PA on PANDY. you never fail to amaze me.
I later made her jump whilst she was outside having a shady cigarette by flying open the kitchen door wearing the aforementioned glasses and screaming "I'M IN 3D!!" at the top of my voice- she literally flew, like a little startled Yoda in a pink dressing gown
xXx
Thursday 19 November 2009
Wednesday 18 November 2009
At Home
(Me and and the PA of Pandy are watching The episode of Doctor Who that guest stars Jessica Hynes)
Mum: Didn't she write some...comedy..thing?
Me(looks at mum venomously):What.?.
Mum:(looks worried)Errr...
Me(throws her head back) AHHHH muuuuum!!!!why would you say that?!?
Mum: oh I'm sorry!
Me: SHE WROTE SPACED MUM!!!SHE'S ONE OF MY HEROES!!SPACED MAA!!!
Mum: That's what it was!
Me: Yes!
Mum: Well, at least i knew she wrote something funny
Me:(sigh)...I've missed you Panders
xXx
Mum: Didn't she write some...comedy..thing?
Me(looks at mum venomously):What.?.
Mum:(looks worried)Errr...
Me(throws her head back) AHHHH muuuuum!!!!why would you say that?!?
Mum: oh I'm sorry!
Me: SHE WROTE SPACED MUM!!!SHE'S ONE OF MY HEROES!!SPACED MAA!!!
Mum: That's what it was!
Me: Yes!
Mum: Well, at least i knew she wrote something funny
Me:(sigh)...I've missed you Panders
xXx
No Beer and No TV and No Twitter makes Amy something something
ok, so Twitter's down right now, although it was up for like three minutes and then went down again so not only am i annoyed, i'm very confused
SO because i have stuff to do and can't really validate staring at the screen waiting for twitter to come back i thought i'd go old school- Pre-Twitter and do what i used to- write on my blog.
So basically this is me admitting the reason i don't write on here that much anymore is because of twitter. which is stupid really cos i think more of my mates used to see this then see Twitter now. but i should imagine everyone who use to read this has disappeared because there's been nowt to read for a looooooooong while.
Anyhoo, yeah er i'm doing something scary but awesome today that i can't really talk about properly cos it's (meant to be) a suprise. Yeah, that makes none sense.
I spose i should have some kind of breakfast but in order to do that i'd need some kind of food. so that's breakfast gone. meh i'll grab something when i get to...er...one of the places i'm going. OOH MYSTERY!!
i think it's gonna be really good for me to get away from canters for a while though... totally need some space, stuff's happened that i didn't think would bother me, but obviously it does bother me and my head's just like WAAAAH at the moment- i need some non-WAAAAH times methinks.
O, i'm gonna start getting ready now- i wanna make sure i'm ultra early in everything i do incase something goes wrong and shizzle. it shouldn't go wrong though. i hope it doesn't.
wish me luck ^^
xXx
SO because i have stuff to do and can't really validate staring at the screen waiting for twitter to come back i thought i'd go old school- Pre-Twitter and do what i used to- write on my blog.
So basically this is me admitting the reason i don't write on here that much anymore is because of twitter. which is stupid really cos i think more of my mates used to see this then see Twitter now. but i should imagine everyone who use to read this has disappeared because there's been nowt to read for a looooooooong while.
Anyhoo, yeah er i'm doing something scary but awesome today that i can't really talk about properly cos it's (meant to be) a suprise. Yeah, that makes none sense.
I spose i should have some kind of breakfast but in order to do that i'd need some kind of food. so that's breakfast gone. meh i'll grab something when i get to...er...one of the places i'm going. OOH MYSTERY!!
i think it's gonna be really good for me to get away from canters for a while though... totally need some space, stuff's happened that i didn't think would bother me, but obviously it does bother me and my head's just like WAAAAH at the moment- i need some non-WAAAAH times methinks.
O, i'm gonna start getting ready now- i wanna make sure i'm ultra early in everything i do incase something goes wrong and shizzle. it shouldn't go wrong though. i hope it doesn't.
wish me luck ^^
xXx
Tuesday 17 November 2009
Connie: Queen of Geeks
Me and Connie are discussing a guy she met on Monday, whilst simaltaneously divulging in one of favourite things- Facebook stalking ^^
Connie:He’s just too nice
Me:I have to admit, looking at him...well, to me he looks like he could be a geek.and we know our own kind
Connie:I did think that
Me:Yeah...yeah, he’s definitely got an air of geek around him...hang on
Connie:He’s just too nice that’s the problem
Me:He doesn’t seem very you missus
Connie:That’s what i thought
Me:Yeah...ooh hang on, ‘Favourite Books... Harry Potter’
Connie:Oh god
Me:Yeah, that’s geeky
Connie: Yeah it is. Oh no
Me:Ok, hang on...favourite quotations...Yeah, it’s something about harry potter
Connie:NO!
Me:Yeah, see i said didn’t i? It’s like a sixth sense, it’s how we find friends. You got off with a geek my lovely
Connie:Oh no!
Me:Favourite films?
Connie:Yeah?
Me:(sighs) oh connie. Oohhh connieconnieconnieconnifer
Connie:What?
Me:Favourite films- "too many to say but The Star wars trilogy are the best films of all time"
Connie:NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Me:AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU GOT OFF WITH A GEEK!!!! This guy sounds like someone I'D fancy, that's how much of a geek he is
Connie: OHHHH we should set you up!!
Me: Yeah, no, i don't want your geeky seconds. ahaha Star Wars!
Connie: Nooooo!!!I’m definitely never seeing him again now
Me:I know! There’s only room in your life for one geek thank you!
Connie:You’re my geek!!
Me:GOOD. You can’t have a best friend AND a boyfriend as a geek. Unless you’re a geek. But otherwise it’d be too much for you. We’d fight over which Transformer is the best one (*Blates Barricade btw)
Connie:No, no no it’s fine, you’re my geek. I know why he likes me so much now, i’m so out of his league!!
Me: Hell, that’s why i like you so much- You’re out of my league!!practically speaking we shouldn’t even know each other!
Connie:LOLOLOLOLOL
Me: LOL indeed connifer. Lol indeed.
I love that girl
xXx
Connie:He’s just too nice
Me:I have to admit, looking at him...well, to me he looks like he could be a geek.and we know our own kind
Connie:I did think that
Me:Yeah...yeah, he’s definitely got an air of geek around him...hang on
Connie:He’s just too nice that’s the problem
Me:He doesn’t seem very you missus
Connie:That’s what i thought
Me:Yeah...ooh hang on, ‘Favourite Books... Harry Potter’
Connie:Oh god
Me:Yeah, that’s geeky
Connie: Yeah it is. Oh no
Me:Ok, hang on...favourite quotations...Yeah, it’s something about harry potter
Connie:NO!
Me:Yeah, see i said didn’t i? It’s like a sixth sense, it’s how we find friends. You got off with a geek my lovely
Connie:Oh no!
Me:Favourite films?
Connie:Yeah?
Me:(sighs) oh connie. Oohhh connieconnieconnieconnifer
Connie:What?
Me:Favourite films- "too many to say but The Star wars trilogy are the best films of all time"
Connie:NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Me:AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU GOT OFF WITH A GEEK!!!! This guy sounds like someone I'D fancy, that's how much of a geek he is
Connie: OHHHH we should set you up!!
Me: Yeah, no, i don't want your geeky seconds. ahaha Star Wars!
Connie: Nooooo!!!I’m definitely never seeing him again now
Me:I know! There’s only room in your life for one geek thank you!
Connie:You’re my geek!!
Me:GOOD. You can’t have a best friend AND a boyfriend as a geek. Unless you’re a geek. But otherwise it’d be too much for you. We’d fight over which Transformer is the best one (*Blates Barricade btw)
Connie:No, no no it’s fine, you’re my geek. I know why he likes me so much now, i’m so out of his league!!
Me: Hell, that’s why i like you so much- You’re out of my league!!practically speaking we shouldn’t even know each other!
Connie:LOLOLOLOLOL
Me: LOL indeed connifer. Lol indeed.
I love that girl
xXx
Thursday 5 November 2009
Why Hollyoaks should be called Hollyohmygodwhatashamblesofatvshowoaks.
The following lines are from an episode of Hollyoaks I, unfortunately, bore witness to. Believe me when i say that after this there will be no more witnessing of anything even remotely Hollyoaks related. Stupid, crappy show.
Little Kid: But Britain didn't start the war and neither did Germany; My teacher told me that a man shot Archduke Ferdinand and that's what started it.
Bloke who's supposedly handsome: Actually, his name was Franz Ferdinand
Woman who's supposedly beautiful: Franz Ferdinand?! That's a band- even i know that!
And then it cut to another scene.
...
I genuinely stopped for a second.
Me: Did she just say what I think she said?
Laura: Yeah, i think so...
Me: But...but they're named AFTER the Archduke Franz Ferdinand...i don't...did i hear it wrong?
Oh how i wish i had. I don't know if it was supposed to be sarcastic and it's just that the acting is so VERY VERY bad that i didn't realise she was being sarcy...oh my.
Honest to god there is no hope anymore.
Laura then turned the TV over and said "OOH- eastenders is on!!" and I bolted up the stairs.
NEVER AGAIN.
xXx
Little Kid: But Britain didn't start the war and neither did Germany; My teacher told me that a man shot Archduke Ferdinand and that's what started it.
Bloke who's supposedly handsome: Actually, his name was Franz Ferdinand
Woman who's supposedly beautiful: Franz Ferdinand?! That's a band- even i know that!
And then it cut to another scene.
...
I genuinely stopped for a second.
Me: Did she just say what I think she said?
Laura: Yeah, i think so...
Me: But...but they're named AFTER the Archduke Franz Ferdinand...i don't...did i hear it wrong?
Oh how i wish i had. I don't know if it was supposed to be sarcastic and it's just that the acting is so VERY VERY bad that i didn't realise she was being sarcy...oh my.
Honest to god there is no hope anymore.
Laura then turned the TV over and said "OOH- eastenders is on!!" and I bolted up the stairs.
NEVER AGAIN.
xXx
Wednesday 4 November 2009
Tuesday 3 November 2009
Panders pick up the phone
Someone's got to love them. Unfortunately that someone is me.
(At Keynes Bus Stop, Kent Uni Campus. I decide to phone Panders to see what escapades the crazy pair have got themselves into today. after 5 seconds i instantly regret my decision)
Me: Hey Ma! I was just phoning to sa-
Mum: Amy, are you outside?
Me: Er...Yeah...that happens to people sometimes you know? I mean, once you’ve figured out how to open a door you’re pretty much ther-
Mum: Why aren’t you inside?
Me: Wha-
Mum: It’s FREEZING.
Me: Yeah, I know that-I’m outside. That’s why I’m wearing my coat and gloves
Mum: What about your hat?
Me: Don’t start that up agai-
Mum: Why are you outside anyway?
Me: Wel-
Mum: Are you walking?
Me: No-
Mum: Are you by yourself?
Me: Mum-
Mum: It’s dark now Amy, it’s winter, it’s dark-
Me: I’m aware of the time of year Mu-
Mum: ANDREW! ANDREW!
Me: Mum, plea-
(I hear dad shuffle into the room)
Dad: What?
Mum: She’s outside.
(I hear Dad tut)
Me: Mum-
Dad: But it’s freezing!
Me: Dad-
Mum: Yes, I’ve told her that-
Me: Panders-
Dad: What’s she doing outside?
Mum: AND she’s by herself-
Me: HEY! OLD GUYS!* Less of the chatter, thanks. If you wanna know why I was outside let me bloody explain.
Mum: Fine. I’ll put you on speaker so your father can hear too
Me: Oh god...
Dad: Can you hear us, darling? Can you-
Me: Yeah, dad it’s fine-
Dad: CAN YOU HEAR US-
Me: YES DAD I CAN HEAR YOU!
Dad: Alright, calm down. Now, why are you outside?
Me: I went to the library to do some work, cos I didn’t get any done today- good huh? I’m making effort and everything!
(Silence on the phone)
Me: ...Panders? Did-did you not hear? Me with the healthy work ethic and everything?
Dad: You mean to do all the work you were supposed to have done today, yeah?
Me: Well...yeah, but at least I’ve gone back, right?
Dad: Well, actually, the idea is you go up early during the day, ACTUALLY work and then go back up in the evening to do MORE work
Me: ...I can’t win can I?
Dad: Well, ok, yes, it’s good that you’re trying; you just need to do it more-
Mum: Yes, and you shouldn’t be out on your own in the dark.
Me: I’m at a bus stop mum!!
Mum: That’s even worse!!
Me: (incredulous) WHAT?!
Mum: Are there any other people there? How many? Is it lit well? IS IT?!
Me: Mum, for the love of god, it’s a bus stop. YES there are people. There are about FIVE other people. And YES it’s well lit. It’s a bus stop, mum-
(She scoffs)
Me: And it’s an actual bus stop, with a shelter and everything, not like the Beccles one which is just a sign with a bench too high to sit on, it’s a bonafide bus stop.
Dad: Well, at least she’s not walking home in the dark-
Mum: You better not be walking home by yourself Amy. Amy? You’re not walking home by yourself are you? ...Amy? ...Amy?
Me: ...BUS. STOP.
xXx
*If you got the Men In Black reference there then Kudos.
(At Keynes Bus Stop, Kent Uni Campus. I decide to phone Panders to see what escapades the crazy pair have got themselves into today. after 5 seconds i instantly regret my decision)
Me: Hey Ma! I was just phoning to sa-
Mum: Amy, are you outside?
Me: Er...Yeah...that happens to people sometimes you know? I mean, once you’ve figured out how to open a door you’re pretty much ther-
Mum: Why aren’t you inside?
Me: Wha-
Mum: It’s FREEZING.
Me: Yeah, I know that-I’m outside. That’s why I’m wearing my coat and gloves
Mum: What about your hat?
Me: Don’t start that up agai-
Mum: Why are you outside anyway?
Me: Wel-
Mum: Are you walking?
Me: No-
Mum: Are you by yourself?
Me: Mum-
Mum: It’s dark now Amy, it’s winter, it’s dark-
Me: I’m aware of the time of year Mu-
Mum: ANDREW! ANDREW!
Me: Mum, plea-
(I hear dad shuffle into the room)
Dad: What?
Mum: She’s outside.
(I hear Dad tut)
Me: Mum-
Dad: But it’s freezing!
Me: Dad-
Mum: Yes, I’ve told her that-
Me: Panders-
Dad: What’s she doing outside?
Mum: AND she’s by herself-
Me: HEY! OLD GUYS!* Less of the chatter, thanks. If you wanna know why I was outside let me bloody explain.
Mum: Fine. I’ll put you on speaker so your father can hear too
Me: Oh god...
Dad: Can you hear us, darling? Can you-
Me: Yeah, dad it’s fine-
Dad: CAN YOU HEAR US-
Me: YES DAD I CAN HEAR YOU!
Dad: Alright, calm down. Now, why are you outside?
Me: I went to the library to do some work, cos I didn’t get any done today- good huh? I’m making effort and everything!
(Silence on the phone)
Me: ...Panders? Did-did you not hear? Me with the healthy work ethic and everything?
Dad: You mean to do all the work you were supposed to have done today, yeah?
Me: Well...yeah, but at least I’ve gone back, right?
Dad: Well, actually, the idea is you go up early during the day, ACTUALLY work and then go back up in the evening to do MORE work
Me: ...I can’t win can I?
Dad: Well, ok, yes, it’s good that you’re trying; you just need to do it more-
Mum: Yes, and you shouldn’t be out on your own in the dark.
Me: I’m at a bus stop mum!!
Mum: That’s even worse!!
Me: (incredulous) WHAT?!
Mum: Are there any other people there? How many? Is it lit well? IS IT?!
Me: Mum, for the love of god, it’s a bus stop. YES there are people. There are about FIVE other people. And YES it’s well lit. It’s a bus stop, mum-
(She scoffs)
Me: And it’s an actual bus stop, with a shelter and everything, not like the Beccles one which is just a sign with a bench too high to sit on, it’s a bonafide bus stop.
Dad: Well, at least she’s not walking home in the dark-
Mum: You better not be walking home by yourself Amy. Amy? You’re not walking home by yourself are you? ...Amy? ...Amy?
Me: ...BUS. STOP.
xXx
*If you got the Men In Black reference there then Kudos.
Monday 2 November 2009
Coolest. Moment. Ever.
(Amy and Alex are at a Halloween house party when a guy dressed as a Stormtrooper comes past)
Amy:OOH- A STORMTROOPER!!!Can i have a picture with you?!?PLEAASE!!
Stormtrooper: Yeah, sure!
Amy:AWESOOOME!!
(Alex takes photo)
Amy: Cheers!!AHH can i put the helmet on?!?please?
Stormtrooper: Er, yeah, ok
(Amy puts Stormtrooper helmet on)
Amy: I'M A STORMTROOPER!!
Alex: Aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper?
Amy:OOH- A STORMTROOPER!!!Can i have a picture with you?!?PLEAASE!!
Stormtrooper: Yeah, sure!
Amy:AWESOOOME!!
(Alex takes photo)
Amy: Cheers!!AHH can i put the helmet on?!?please?
Stormtrooper: Er, yeah, ok
(Amy puts Stormtrooper helmet on)
Amy: I'M A STORMTROOPER!!
Alex: Aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper?
Absolute genius.
xXx
Monday 26 October 2009
Amyfesto
For one of my modules this term we have to write a manifesto. I'm kinda proud of mine so i thought i'd chuck it on this bad boy so you can read it to. if i still have any readers...here's hoping!! ENJOY!
I didn’t realise that to enjoy art you had to like the rubbish art too-
And that if you say you don’t like it then ‘It’s because you don’t understand’.
See, what I don’t understand is what there is to actually understand?
Maybe I have a very primitive idea of what art should be
Not should be.
Can Be.
But, if an unmade bed was actually worth six digit figures there’d be no issue of student debt
Art should be allowed to be anything
But equally art should be more than just anything.
An animal floating in formaldehyde, or ‘an image that captures the extraordinary essence of everyday life’- dude, it’s a guy on a bike in Paris. You know how often that happens?
We don’t need to be told that everyday life is beautiful- especially since a lot of the time it’s not, thanks to misread/ ridiculous politics and a need for power over the simplest of things.
I don’t think politics should be mingled with art.
Politics are mind-numbing, saturating our society and smothering us with rules and regulations that tell us what to eat, when to eat, when to walk, when to run, when to start and when to
Stop.
Art can be the alternate reality away from the dreary every-day life we try to escape, the images, sentences and sounds of art providing you with a different way of living
Emancipating our imaginations and leaving us content.
So if I’m suddenly expected to mix everyday politics up with that, and smother my escape with rules and regulations as to what I’m supposed to be seeing as opposed to what I actually see,
Don’t be surprised when I say I don’t want to.
Politics corrupt the original beauty of art, they warp it until it
HAS meaning HAS a message,
Even if it’s nothing more than a small doodle in black in on the back of a receipt that’s been discarded on a restaurant table next to 2 or 3 chewed straws and an empty glass that once held banana milkshake
If it looks pretty and makes you go “oh...that’s nice”, then cool
But don’t try and tell me that it’s an ‘artistic interpretation, reflecting upon the effects of consumerism on the general population’, because it’s most likely to be MY doodle on the back of that receipt
And I promise you- it’s just pen and paper. No politics.
Nothing’s pretty anymore. Nothing’s appreciated for just looking nice.
Take a second longer than you normally would to actually look at a person you love, or hate, or entirely indifferent to;
See how much more you recognise in them, their facial expressions or even how long it takes them to realise you’re staring at them- whether you’ve known them all your life or those few + 1 seconds you’ve been looking at them, YOU KNOW you’ve noticed more, ‘cos you took the time to- you wanna get something out of that extra second so
You TRIED to see more, that’s why you did. Even if there was nothing more to see.
In your mind you did, and it’s the same with art really
People look long enough they start seeing stuff they don’t really see
They say it ‘talks to them’, the art, ‘it talks to them’...
Yeah, that’s not the art
It’s just because you feel like you’re supposed to say something about it.
Try not talking. It might help.
My writing is my form of expression HOWEVER
Whenever i’m in full swing of writing, if everything’s clicking and i’m thinking YES YES YES YES YES
This works
I will stop and debate whether or not to swear because the voice in my mind, which sounds a lot like my parents, will tell me that swearing isn’t actually necessary 100% of the time and that surely if you’re such a good writer you should be able to replace that word, find another one amy find another one, but you can’t so you think “oh...well maybe I’m not that good a writer” and you put the pen down and the writing
Stops.
Then an hour later you pick it up and you find the right word. But no matter how free I feel when I’m writing I’m never truly free from the reigns of my own mind- how ironic that the only person who holds you back is yourself
God’s a bit twisted really when you think about it........
Another thing is that my handwriting’s really pretty when I write fast- it goes old fashioned and delicate and flows
But we have to type everything up these days (exhibit A you hold in your hands or read on your screen)
So no one gets to see my pretty writing. Self-indulgent I know but, it’s mine you know?
My writing HOW I write it, HOW it looks, HOW I do it.
For me you lose a little bit of the writer when that happens
You can tell a lot by the scrawling along a page, or the drawings in the margins;
Word sets it out, organises it. It takes your mangled, misbehaving writing and puts it through military school
The dreaded red squiggly line that stops you making up words of your own
WRITING SHOULD HAVE NO RED SQUIGGLY LINES. They should be squiggle-less.
Don’t correct me- maybe I wanted the little letter there and a Big one rigHt in the MIDDle of my sentence.
That’s why I hate Word. BOO to you Microsoft. BOO TO YOU.
Writing does bug me though.
It should be available to anyone AND everyone,
But why naturally assume that I’m writing for anyone?
WRITE FOR YOURSELF
And see what happens afterwards.
People like it- added bonus. People don’t? Who cares, i didn’t write it for them anyway!!
Why does it have to be applicable? Easy to convey?
If you don’t like it i won’t tell you it’s because you don’t understand. And if you don’t understand then i won’t FORCE you to either- i won’t mind if you read it and say “Ames- no offence, but it’s a bit of twaddle to me”
That’s totally cool. I’d imagine how you’d be feeling is how i feel when i have to watch ‘Match of the Day’ with my Dad. Gary Lineker’s mouth is moving but...nothing.
My writing’s there to be read, but only by those who choose to read it- not everyone has to, do what you will with it.
I had one guy ask what i wanted to be;
“A writer”
“A Writer?...Bit vague, love. What kind of Writer?” like that, with the capital letter and everything.
See, there’s the problem. What KIND of writer. As if we’re a collective breed that can be narrowed down into several sub-species
And we can only be one.
You don’t tie a person down like that when the capability’s too much.
Maybe i chose to become a writer because it let me do loads and loads of things.
A paediatrician is a doctor of children- but that doesn’t mean that presented with an un-well adult he wouldn’t be capable of taking care of them. He simply channels his talent to one thing- but if he wishes he can use his ability to expand his career.
“What kind of Writer?”
“Er Comedy, Drama, Horror, Thriller, Suspense, Romantic, Erotic, Supernatural, Children’s, Religious, Historical, Science-Fiction, Non-Fiction, Short stories, Epic novels, Not-so-epic Novels, Novellas, Comics, Graphic novels, Best Sellers, Unconventional, Indie classics, Columns, Reviews, Poems, Lyrics, stage directions, plays, scripts, adapted screenplays, screenplays, Eastenders, Mock The Week, Spaced, One Tree Hill, Band of Brothers, Generation Kill, Back to the Future, The Matrix, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Toy Story, Robert Zemeckis, John Lasseter, JJ Abrams, Diablo Cody, Bafta winning, Bafta Winning, Oscar Nom, Oscar Nom, OSCAR WINNING!!!”
“You wanna do all that?”
“...Yeah, why not?”
I’m a writer. That’s all I am.
xXx
I didn’t realise that to enjoy art you had to like the rubbish art too-
And that if you say you don’t like it then ‘It’s because you don’t understand’.
See, what I don’t understand is what there is to actually understand?
Maybe I have a very primitive idea of what art should be
Not should be.
Can Be.
But, if an unmade bed was actually worth six digit figures there’d be no issue of student debt
Art should be allowed to be anything
But equally art should be more than just anything.
An animal floating in formaldehyde, or ‘an image that captures the extraordinary essence of everyday life’- dude, it’s a guy on a bike in Paris. You know how often that happens?
We don’t need to be told that everyday life is beautiful- especially since a lot of the time it’s not, thanks to misread/ ridiculous politics and a need for power over the simplest of things.
I don’t think politics should be mingled with art.
Politics are mind-numbing, saturating our society and smothering us with rules and regulations that tell us what to eat, when to eat, when to walk, when to run, when to start and when to
Stop.
Art can be the alternate reality away from the dreary every-day life we try to escape, the images, sentences and sounds of art providing you with a different way of living
Emancipating our imaginations and leaving us content.
So if I’m suddenly expected to mix everyday politics up with that, and smother my escape with rules and regulations as to what I’m supposed to be seeing as opposed to what I actually see,
Don’t be surprised when I say I don’t want to.
Politics corrupt the original beauty of art, they warp it until it
HAS meaning HAS a message,
Even if it’s nothing more than a small doodle in black in on the back of a receipt that’s been discarded on a restaurant table next to 2 or 3 chewed straws and an empty glass that once held banana milkshake
If it looks pretty and makes you go “oh...that’s nice”, then cool
But don’t try and tell me that it’s an ‘artistic interpretation, reflecting upon the effects of consumerism on the general population’, because it’s most likely to be MY doodle on the back of that receipt
And I promise you- it’s just pen and paper. No politics.
Nothing’s pretty anymore. Nothing’s appreciated for just looking nice.
Take a second longer than you normally would to actually look at a person you love, or hate, or entirely indifferent to;
See how much more you recognise in them, their facial expressions or even how long it takes them to realise you’re staring at them- whether you’ve known them all your life or those few + 1 seconds you’ve been looking at them, YOU KNOW you’ve noticed more, ‘cos you took the time to- you wanna get something out of that extra second so
You TRIED to see more, that’s why you did. Even if there was nothing more to see.
In your mind you did, and it’s the same with art really
People look long enough they start seeing stuff they don’t really see
They say it ‘talks to them’, the art, ‘it talks to them’...
Yeah, that’s not the art
It’s just because you feel like you’re supposed to say something about it.
Try not talking. It might help.
My writing is my form of expression HOWEVER
Whenever i’m in full swing of writing, if everything’s clicking and i’m thinking YES YES YES YES YES
This works
I will stop and debate whether or not to swear because the voice in my mind, which sounds a lot like my parents, will tell me that swearing isn’t actually necessary 100% of the time and that surely if you’re such a good writer you should be able to replace that word, find another one amy find another one, but you can’t so you think “oh...well maybe I’m not that good a writer” and you put the pen down and the writing
Stops.
Then an hour later you pick it up and you find the right word. But no matter how free I feel when I’m writing I’m never truly free from the reigns of my own mind- how ironic that the only person who holds you back is yourself
God’s a bit twisted really when you think about it........
Another thing is that my handwriting’s really pretty when I write fast- it goes old fashioned and delicate and flows
But we have to type everything up these days (exhibit A you hold in your hands or read on your screen)
So no one gets to see my pretty writing. Self-indulgent I know but, it’s mine you know?
My writing HOW I write it, HOW it looks, HOW I do it.
For me you lose a little bit of the writer when that happens
You can tell a lot by the scrawling along a page, or the drawings in the margins;
Word sets it out, organises it. It takes your mangled, misbehaving writing and puts it through military school
The dreaded red squiggly line that stops you making up words of your own
WRITING SHOULD HAVE NO RED SQUIGGLY LINES. They should be squiggle-less.
Don’t correct me- maybe I wanted the little letter there and a Big one rigHt in the MIDDle of my sentence.
That’s why I hate Word. BOO to you Microsoft. BOO TO YOU.
Writing does bug me though.
It should be available to anyone AND everyone,
But why naturally assume that I’m writing for anyone?
WRITE FOR YOURSELF
And see what happens afterwards.
People like it- added bonus. People don’t? Who cares, i didn’t write it for them anyway!!
Why does it have to be applicable? Easy to convey?
If you don’t like it i won’t tell you it’s because you don’t understand. And if you don’t understand then i won’t FORCE you to either- i won’t mind if you read it and say “Ames- no offence, but it’s a bit of twaddle to me”
That’s totally cool. I’d imagine how you’d be feeling is how i feel when i have to watch ‘Match of the Day’ with my Dad. Gary Lineker’s mouth is moving but...nothing.
My writing’s there to be read, but only by those who choose to read it- not everyone has to, do what you will with it.
I had one guy ask what i wanted to be;
“A writer”
“A Writer?...Bit vague, love. What kind of Writer?” like that, with the capital letter and everything.
See, there’s the problem. What KIND of writer. As if we’re a collective breed that can be narrowed down into several sub-species
And we can only be one.
You don’t tie a person down like that when the capability’s too much.
Maybe i chose to become a writer because it let me do loads and loads of things.
A paediatrician is a doctor of children- but that doesn’t mean that presented with an un-well adult he wouldn’t be capable of taking care of them. He simply channels his talent to one thing- but if he wishes he can use his ability to expand his career.
“What kind of Writer?”
“Er Comedy, Drama, Horror, Thriller, Suspense, Romantic, Erotic, Supernatural, Children’s, Religious, Historical, Science-Fiction, Non-Fiction, Short stories, Epic novels, Not-so-epic Novels, Novellas, Comics, Graphic novels, Best Sellers, Unconventional, Indie classics, Columns, Reviews, Poems, Lyrics, stage directions, plays, scripts, adapted screenplays, screenplays, Eastenders, Mock The Week, Spaced, One Tree Hill, Band of Brothers, Generation Kill, Back to the Future, The Matrix, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Toy Story, Robert Zemeckis, John Lasseter, JJ Abrams, Diablo Cody, Bafta winning, Bafta Winning, Oscar Nom, Oscar Nom, OSCAR WINNING!!!”
“You wanna do all that?”
“...Yeah, why not?”
I’m a writer. That’s all I am.
xXx
Wednesday 21 October 2009
LOOKIT!!
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
TOO WRITE MAKES SOMETHING EXCITED SENSE TO THAT!!!
xXx
Wednesday 9 September 2009
Go!! Inspirodude!!
I'm one of those people who isn't just creative in one aspect of their lives. So when i get a splash of inspiration hit me suddenly i can handle it by channeling it into something- it usually emerges in written form but the last few days haven't really been splashes...more like tidal waves that smack me in the face and knock me off my feet at the most inopportune times
I dunno if anyone else has this problem- but when i get smacked in the face by inspiration it's almost like i can't handle it because i don't know what ( and i'm not trying to sound uppity here) essence of creativity to channel it through. I end up wanting to write on it, sing about it, draw to it, paint to it, picture it, capture it however i can for fear of it disappearing as abruptly as it came along. And when you try and do all of the above at the same time...well- things get messy.
Basically inspiration is much like a pokemon. You spend forever looking for it, either on foot or by bike (if you can afford one) and then after a while, when you do find it, usually hidden in long grass amongst other pieces of inspiration you've already found countless times you know it's there and it was worth the wait- and you know you've gotta catch it efficiently, in the right way so that it can't escape you. Then when you find the right medium to catch it with you can keep it for yourself, give it a name, give it a meaning and then use it to battle the opposing gym members squirtle's with.
What i'm trying to say is that i'm feeling very creative right now, and struggling to express it properly. which is probably best demonstrated by that appalling pokemon themed metaphor, but hey- that's just how i roll ^^
xXx
I dunno if anyone else has this problem- but when i get smacked in the face by inspiration it's almost like i can't handle it because i don't know what ( and i'm not trying to sound uppity here) essence of creativity to channel it through. I end up wanting to write on it, sing about it, draw to it, paint to it, picture it, capture it however i can for fear of it disappearing as abruptly as it came along. And when you try and do all of the above at the same time...well- things get messy.
Basically inspiration is much like a pokemon. You spend forever looking for it, either on foot or by bike (if you can afford one) and then after a while, when you do find it, usually hidden in long grass amongst other pieces of inspiration you've already found countless times you know it's there and it was worth the wait- and you know you've gotta catch it efficiently, in the right way so that it can't escape you. Then when you find the right medium to catch it with you can keep it for yourself, give it a name, give it a meaning and then use it to battle the opposing gym members squirtle's with.
What i'm trying to say is that i'm feeling very creative right now, and struggling to express it properly. which is probably best demonstrated by that appalling pokemon themed metaphor, but hey- that's just how i roll ^^
xXx
Sunday 6 September 2009
A present, in order to apologise for my own uselessness and continuity issues ^^
I know I haven't written anything for a really long time, and i'm sorry; to make up for it here is something i can't stop watching;
Technically some people would call this blog entry cheating, because i'm not actually writing anything wholly original- i'm simply attempting to pass off someone else's talent to better improve my own image.
But none of those people are here, Right? Right.
^^
Don't worry JD- you'll get your blog back soon enough ;)
xXx
Tuesday 18 August 2009
Louis Walsh- The Human Ambassador for Moth Kind
So apparently there’s some kind of secret beacon emitting from our house that shouts out to all of moth kind “HEY!! MOTHS!!GET IN HERE!!!” They’ve grown particularly fond of spiralling down from the ceiling, as if from nowhere, into my face and hair at 3 in the morning as I’m running to the loo in order to pee. It doesn’t help. Especially since our loo is right at the top of our stairs, so any particular extravagant moth acrobatics could result in my own spiralling- down the stairs.
You see, at night we keep the upstairs landing light on in our house- this is because both my mum and I suffer from a serious, yet ultimately irrational, fear of the dark. Recently where it’s been so hot we’ve also had the landing window open. And therein lies the problem; Moths see light; Moths fly in; I get up; Moths fly at me. Last night was the worst one yet. There were well over 20 moths in our landing alone- and I’m not even exaggerating. Bleary eyed, and cursing my late night cup of tea at 1 in the morning (Why do I insist on having one? All that happens is I end up needing to pee at ridiculously times of the morning) I stumbled from my room and instantly about 5 were on me. Careful not to shriek and wake up everyone else, I simply batted them away frantically, whimpering, and earned some strange and curious looks from my cat Charlie (who was drinking from the china cup we put out on the landing next to the bathroom for her when she wants some water. Also she likes to drink whilst we brush our teeth at night, so she feels like she’s doing the same thing). After battling with the front line I went deeper into enemy territory and stumbled upon some heavy artillery in the form of a couple of Fat-Arse moths who wouldn’t have looked out of place battling ‘GOJIRA’. I woke my dad up at this moment whilst dodging a particularly vicious attack to my fringe, tripping over the chair on our landing and falling onto our banister. All I heard was a sleepy “AmywillyougobacktobedleavehtmothsaloZZZZZZ” and he was down. I finally made it to the loo, but as soon as I sat down another moth flew in through our loo window and began swerving around my head, edging nearer to my face. Moving clearly wasn’t an option so i just had to wave my hands around the top of my head like a little fan, trying to hit it away. I felt it touch my hand and freaked out, finished peeing and ran into the bathroom, seeking sanctuary (and a sink. I’m not a skank, I washed my hands, don’t worry. No amount of moth attack could stop me from doing that). I opened the door, saw a load of them waiting to spring yet another ambush and suddenly thought “Fuck it”, and ran into my room, dodging them as if they were dust covered, slow moving bullets, diving under my quilt and waited for Charlie to come and join me for fusses and the like.
I wouldn’t mind them so much if it wasn’t for the fact they seemed to be obsessed with my face. Ever since I was attacked by Mothra in Primark a few years back- I unfolded a towel and a moth the size of my hand shot out and smacked me in the face causing me to scream, run about and yelp in front a VERY full floor of desperate shoppers and my two sisters who, caringly, fell about laughing-
I just hate them flying towards me. They make me very nervous. For the same reason i hate daddy-long legs. Except that’s mostly because they look like giant spiders with wings.
And what’s with the dying thing after a few days thing?!? Sad, I know, but you’d think they’d try and make the most of it, catch a film, hook up with some sweet moth bootee, you know, but NO- they’re like kamikaze pilots!! They either spend their days flying constantly into bright and hot lights, flying into spiders webs or flying into your bath. WHAT IS THAT ABOUT?! Whenever i am in the bath or shower, if there is a moth in the room with you, no matter how much you try to prevent it, how much you swish them away or shout “NO! GET AWAY FROM THE WATER, DUMBASS!!” they still manage to just dive bomb into it- and once a moth lands in water that’s it. Because you can see all their precious moth dust, that looks like glitter, coming away in the bath water and somehow- even though you did EVERYTHING in your power to stop the moth from landing in the water- you feel guilty. As if you could have prevented it. Maybe if you hadn’t run the bath in the first place, or had the shower- maybe if you’d tried to catch it as soon as you saw it, or BEFORE YOU GOT IN THE BATH, IF POSSIBLE. You try and tell yourself “If it wasn’t my bath it would’ve been someone else’s”, but no. Ultimately your need to be clean ended the life of an innocent- well no, not innocent, er, naive young moth. And as it floats there you find yourself desperately rationalising you could save it- TRY AND SAVE IT!!! You fish it out with your hands, and the situation gets worse as you drop it once, then again, then it sinks a little, but finally you get it out of the water. You put it on the side, and blow on it, desperately trying to dry out it’s wings. But to no avail. The moth will never fly again. And you know at this point- because somehow the damn thing is still alive- you know you need to be merciful and kill the moth. And the only appropriate W.O.M.D (Weapon Of Moth Destruction) you have is your new bottle of Dove Repairing Treatment Conditioner ma just brought back from superdrug for you. And you don’t want to get it grubby with moth guts, but as you look down at it’s frail, dustless body you know you have no choice. And So endeth the life of yet another kamikaze moth.
So yeah. Moths; They’re not only useless but they’re frustrating. Kinda like Louis Walsh.
xXx
You see, at night we keep the upstairs landing light on in our house- this is because both my mum and I suffer from a serious, yet ultimately irrational, fear of the dark. Recently where it’s been so hot we’ve also had the landing window open. And therein lies the problem; Moths see light; Moths fly in; I get up; Moths fly at me. Last night was the worst one yet. There were well over 20 moths in our landing alone- and I’m not even exaggerating. Bleary eyed, and cursing my late night cup of tea at 1 in the morning (Why do I insist on having one? All that happens is I end up needing to pee at ridiculously times of the morning) I stumbled from my room and instantly about 5 were on me. Careful not to shriek and wake up everyone else, I simply batted them away frantically, whimpering, and earned some strange and curious looks from my cat Charlie (who was drinking from the china cup we put out on the landing next to the bathroom for her when she wants some water. Also she likes to drink whilst we brush our teeth at night, so she feels like she’s doing the same thing). After battling with the front line I went deeper into enemy territory and stumbled upon some heavy artillery in the form of a couple of Fat-Arse moths who wouldn’t have looked out of place battling ‘GOJIRA’. I woke my dad up at this moment whilst dodging a particularly vicious attack to my fringe, tripping over the chair on our landing and falling onto our banister. All I heard was a sleepy “AmywillyougobacktobedleavehtmothsaloZZZZZZ” and he was down. I finally made it to the loo, but as soon as I sat down another moth flew in through our loo window and began swerving around my head, edging nearer to my face. Moving clearly wasn’t an option so i just had to wave my hands around the top of my head like a little fan, trying to hit it away. I felt it touch my hand and freaked out, finished peeing and ran into the bathroom, seeking sanctuary (and a sink. I’m not a skank, I washed my hands, don’t worry. No amount of moth attack could stop me from doing that). I opened the door, saw a load of them waiting to spring yet another ambush and suddenly thought “Fuck it”, and ran into my room, dodging them as if they were dust covered, slow moving bullets, diving under my quilt and waited for Charlie to come and join me for fusses and the like.
I wouldn’t mind them so much if it wasn’t for the fact they seemed to be obsessed with my face. Ever since I was attacked by Mothra in Primark a few years back- I unfolded a towel and a moth the size of my hand shot out and smacked me in the face causing me to scream, run about and yelp in front a VERY full floor of desperate shoppers and my two sisters who, caringly, fell about laughing-
I just hate them flying towards me. They make me very nervous. For the same reason i hate daddy-long legs. Except that’s mostly because they look like giant spiders with wings.
And what’s with the dying thing after a few days thing?!? Sad, I know, but you’d think they’d try and make the most of it, catch a film, hook up with some sweet moth bootee, you know, but NO- they’re like kamikaze pilots!! They either spend their days flying constantly into bright and hot lights, flying into spiders webs or flying into your bath. WHAT IS THAT ABOUT?! Whenever i am in the bath or shower, if there is a moth in the room with you, no matter how much you try to prevent it, how much you swish them away or shout “NO! GET AWAY FROM THE WATER, DUMBASS!!” they still manage to just dive bomb into it- and once a moth lands in water that’s it. Because you can see all their precious moth dust, that looks like glitter, coming away in the bath water and somehow- even though you did EVERYTHING in your power to stop the moth from landing in the water- you feel guilty. As if you could have prevented it. Maybe if you hadn’t run the bath in the first place, or had the shower- maybe if you’d tried to catch it as soon as you saw it, or BEFORE YOU GOT IN THE BATH, IF POSSIBLE. You try and tell yourself “If it wasn’t my bath it would’ve been someone else’s”, but no. Ultimately your need to be clean ended the life of an innocent- well no, not innocent, er, naive young moth. And as it floats there you find yourself desperately rationalising you could save it- TRY AND SAVE IT!!! You fish it out with your hands, and the situation gets worse as you drop it once, then again, then it sinks a little, but finally you get it out of the water. You put it on the side, and blow on it, desperately trying to dry out it’s wings. But to no avail. The moth will never fly again. And you know at this point- because somehow the damn thing is still alive- you know you need to be merciful and kill the moth. And the only appropriate W.O.M.D (Weapon Of Moth Destruction) you have is your new bottle of Dove Repairing Treatment Conditioner ma just brought back from superdrug for you. And you don’t want to get it grubby with moth guts, but as you look down at it’s frail, dustless body you know you have no choice. And So endeth the life of yet another kamikaze moth.
So yeah. Moths; They’re not only useless but they’re frustrating. Kinda like Louis Walsh.
xXx
Sunday 9 August 2009
tired=numpty
Little snippet today from work. I was V TIRED today, don't worry i have a day off tomorrow ^^, but by the end of the day the checkout was mistake central and the population was most definitely me.
At one point i tried to put a call out over the tannoy thing that should've sounded something like this;
"Colleague announcement: Ben Holt to the checkout please, thank you"
but instead it sounded like this;
"Colleague announcement: Ben, uh, wha- huh?Oh for god's sake"
Neat, huh? I also knocked a jar of coffee off of a shelf-stand thing and forgot to take customers cashback out of the till about 7 times. Paula must've felt like throwing the till keys at me by the end of the shift.
But HORRAH and HUZZAH because i haff tomorrow offffff. YEAAH BOIII!! and watch something. i dunno what, just something. Eli's staying over tonight cos Vic and John have a wedding thing to go to, and we've had a well good time.
OHH!! i just remembered i haff ice cream dans le freezer!! excellent.
xXx
I'm gonna go have a cup of tea. No, coffee.
At one point i tried to put a call out over the tannoy thing that should've sounded something like this;
"Colleague announcement: Ben Holt to the checkout please, thank you"
but instead it sounded like this;
"Colleague announcement: Ben, uh, wha- huh?Oh for god's sake"
Neat, huh? I also knocked a jar of coffee off of a shelf-stand thing and forgot to take customers cashback out of the till about 7 times. Paula must've felt like throwing the till keys at me by the end of the shift.
But HORRAH and HUZZAH because i haff tomorrow offffff. YEAAH BOIII!! and watch something. i dunno what, just something. Eli's staying over tonight cos Vic and John have a wedding thing to go to, and we've had a well good time.
OHH!! i just remembered i haff ice cream dans le freezer!! excellent.
xXx
I'm gonna go have a cup of tea. No, coffee.
Saturday 8 August 2009
blah blog
How ironic that on the day i visit the opticians i lose my glasses. Sigh. At least i still have my old ones- even if they do make me look like a mahusive nerd
This blog shall be short and sweet- because i'm tired and achey. not the best combination for wonderful musings and wonderings- moreso the perfect combination for crabbiness and angst. But we shall work with what we have children
Today was kinda honk, except from the last hour of work which was tres funny, courtesy of Dave and Ricky. I kept giving people the wrong change, but i saved a spider so it's swings and roundabouts atm
I better go- as i'm writing this i'm singing along to whatever Spotify throws at me, and Panders 'aint happy. Bye y'all
xXx
This blog shall be short and sweet- because i'm tired and achey. not the best combination for wonderful musings and wonderings- moreso the perfect combination for crabbiness and angst. But we shall work with what we have children
Today was kinda honk, except from the last hour of work which was tres funny, courtesy of Dave and Ricky. I kept giving people the wrong change, but i saved a spider so it's swings and roundabouts atm
I better go- as i'm writing this i'm singing along to whatever Spotify throws at me, and Panders 'aint happy. Bye y'all
xXx
Thursday 6 August 2009
Top 5 directors; Redux edition
In light of much more film viewage i need to update this bad-boy;
1)Steven Speilberg
2)Robert Zemeckis
3)Frank Darabont
4)JJ Abrams
5)Edgar Wright
those who narrowly missed out include; Joss Whedon, Michael Mann, Judd Apatow (a newcomer to the wonder circle, but he's earnt his place), Guillermo Del Toro and Michael Bay.
and my least favourite director?
Stephen Sommers. Dude, WTF?
xXx
1)Steven Speilberg
2)Robert Zemeckis
3)Frank Darabont
4)JJ Abrams
5)Edgar Wright
those who narrowly missed out include; Joss Whedon, Michael Mann, Judd Apatow (a newcomer to the wonder circle, but he's earnt his place), Guillermo Del Toro and Michael Bay.
and my least favourite director?
Stephen Sommers. Dude, WTF?
xXx
Wishful blogging
I wish i was cool kid enough to have written something like this in the first place. As it is i'm only re-blogging it from another blog
(where else would you be re-blogging it from you re-tard?)
(where else would you be re-blogging it from you re-tard?)
But alas, i am only cool kid enough to make myself some new glasses;
Me and my dad held hands and skipped through the town centre today. Ma and Eli refused to join in. Dad said 'That's cos you're not as cool as us- we're too cool for school' to which i said 'yeah, we're so cool, we're not cool enough for school'. Ma turned round and said 'So you're both admitting in school you weren't considered cool?'
We stopped skipping
...
But we started again as soon as she turned back around :D
xXx
Tuesday 4 August 2009
Semi-Live Somerfield
Is it just me, or does that title sound like some kind of supermarket soft porn?
Now there's a niche market.
I know I’ve been letting the world of wonderment side down and for this all I can do is apologise profusely. Well, it’s not all I can do but it’s all I can be bothered to do ^^
In order to counteract all the lack of blogness I have resolved to attempt to write a blog on here for every day I’m not writing one for http://georgeandcruden.tumblr.com. That way I can practice my writing and keep up with this bad boy. It’ll be my world on wonderment one year anniversary soon...ish. My word. One whole year of writing twaddle. Brilliant.
Anyhoo, in order to make up for missing so much here is something special- a semi-live blog from within the alternate reality that IS Somerfield. Enjoy. ‘Cos I sure as hell didn’t.
7:22am
I have been awake for 1 hour and 52 minutes. Why? Even though I had the answer to this question I kept asking it. The answer is ‘cos I had to start work at 7:00am, that’s why. Don’t think it’s a good enough answer? Nope, me neither. But eggs is eggs, and Somerfield is rubbish.
7:24am
Beccles looks strange at this time of the day. Kinda Post-Apocalyptic, like the beginning of 28 days later...
7:25am
If I see ANYTHING resembling a zombie, I’m gone. Screw Somerfield.
7:26am
ARGH ZOMBIE!! Oh...no, wait, it’s just an old man on a bike wearing questionably red bike shorts. You can understand my confusion- blood red travelling at a speed it shouldn’t be has zombie written all over it.
7:30am
Jackie just said “I wonder what kind of day it’s gonna be today?” and then my till signed itself off. Oh, if only it were that easy...
7:31am
The shop opened at 7 and so far I have served 2 people. Considering that fact I though the shop opened at 8 that’s more than I was expecting. Then again it’s more than I expected after learning it opened at 7...
7:33am
Ah...I get to experience the delight that is the early morning nutters. They’re ever so sprightly. I’m used to the afternoon ones you see, far more lethargic than these critters. I just had one bloke come in and ask me if the world had ended, to which I replied “Er... in the last half hour? No one’s except mine”. He then paid for something that was worth £5 with £7, even though all I did was take the £2 he gave me and give it back to him. He tipped an imaginary hat to me, walked outside to the other side of the town centre and jumped around a lamppost, blurted out “The World has ended already! We all missed out!!” and then skipped towards the pub. It wasn’t until I saw he was wearing lime green legwarmers that I realised he really was crazy though.
7:38am
Maybe that guy was right. Maybe the world has ended. There are literally NO people here whatsoever
7:41am
I can’t believe I’ve been here 41 minutes. How is that even possible, for time to move that slowly? Then again Somerfield is the Beccles equivalent to Sunnydale’s Hellmouth, and the basic laws of physics don’t apply here. That’s how they’re able to charge £2.50 for a punnet of grapes and call it a ‘Special Offer’
7:44am
My till keeps making me jump every time it signs off. Just to put into perspective how useless me standing here is, the till signs off after it hasn’t been used for like 7 minutes. It’s signed of now on 4 separate occasions. Of its own volition.
7:47am
Somerfield is usually overrun by wasps. At this moment in time there are no wasps. Wanna know why? ‘Cos even they’re not stupid enough to get up this early. Who even shops at 7 in the morning? WHO?!?! I have yet to serve anyone under the age of 35.
7:53am
GASP. An incredibly good looking freckly man has come into the shop. He has good hair (red- duh), nice build, and is quit tall. Oh I hope he buys something!
7:56am a quick look in the mirror bit of the till reveals what I have known all along- I am fugly. However, it’s also revealed something I didn’t know- at this time of the morning I’m 10 times fuglier. STUPID FRINGE BEHAVE!!
7:57am
ARGH HERE HE COMES!!
8:01am
I am a Smitten Kitten. Conversation was HAD, my friends- HAD. I’m already googling ‘wedding dresses’ on my phone. Hahah not really!! (coughs, looks shifty, hides phone). I made him laugh!!
FB (fittie blokey): (smiling) It’s nice to see such a lovely face in here at this time of the day...
Me: (BLUSH BLUSH BLUSH) Well, it’s nice to be paid such a lovely compliment in here at this time of the day...
FB: Oh really? So does it make waking up at...?
Me: 5:30...
FB: (grimaces. Even his grimacing was cute btw) Ouch! Well, does it make waking up at 5:30 worth it?
Me: (smiling)...almost... but I get given compliments like that at all times of the day, so the fact I had to wake up extra early in order to hear yours doesn’t exactly work in your favour, does it?
FB: (laughs loudly) No, not really. Well, how about if I came in here every hour to say something nice to you? Would that help?
Me (thinking) maybe- but you’d have to wait in line like everyone else
8:05am
I played it coooool. Except from blushing like an absolute numpty.
8:06am
Oh wow, over an hour has passed. Joy.
8:20am
An old man just came into the shop and it suddenly came over freezing cold- like I have Goosebumps on my arms and I’m shivering cold. As he came to the kiosk it got colder, and I was shivering whilst packing his bags, and then as soon as he left the shop it was warm again. Like literally as soon as he walked through the doors I was warm again. My hands got that tingly feeling that happens when you go from cold to hot really fast. Its proper freaked me out!! He seemed lovely though, so I don’t mind if we have an old man ghost in Somerfield
8:31am
A woman was just surprised by the fact I was old enough to sell her alcohol. When I told her I was actually 19 her mouth fell open!! She said she had thought I was about 16 years old, and would have to call my supervisor in order to sell it to her. DAMN STUPID ROUNDED FACE. Everyone always goes “ooohhhh, but you’ll appreciate it when you’re about 40 and people think you’re thirty something”. Well, yeah, fair enough- but I’m not 40 now am I?!?! Although apparently I’m not, believably, 19 either, so my age apparently has no agenda whatsoever. I’m such an enigma sometimes.
And that’s when Tilly came and took me off the tills, and I started delivery. VERY busy day today- I’m about to go have a brew with Panders, then watch Ugly Betty and then persuade Fozz and Kage to watch ‘Little Miss Sunshine’
xXx
Now there's a niche market.
I know I’ve been letting the world of wonderment side down and for this all I can do is apologise profusely. Well, it’s not all I can do but it’s all I can be bothered to do ^^
In order to counteract all the lack of blogness I have resolved to attempt to write a blog on here for every day I’m not writing one for http://georgeandcruden.tumblr.com. That way I can practice my writing and keep up with this bad boy. It’ll be my world on wonderment one year anniversary soon...ish. My word. One whole year of writing twaddle. Brilliant.
Anyhoo, in order to make up for missing so much here is something special- a semi-live blog from within the alternate reality that IS Somerfield. Enjoy. ‘Cos I sure as hell didn’t.
7:22am
I have been awake for 1 hour and 52 minutes. Why? Even though I had the answer to this question I kept asking it. The answer is ‘cos I had to start work at 7:00am, that’s why. Don’t think it’s a good enough answer? Nope, me neither. But eggs is eggs, and Somerfield is rubbish.
7:24am
Beccles looks strange at this time of the day. Kinda Post-Apocalyptic, like the beginning of 28 days later...
7:25am
If I see ANYTHING resembling a zombie, I’m gone. Screw Somerfield.
7:26am
ARGH ZOMBIE!! Oh...no, wait, it’s just an old man on a bike wearing questionably red bike shorts. You can understand my confusion- blood red travelling at a speed it shouldn’t be has zombie written all over it.
7:30am
Jackie just said “I wonder what kind of day it’s gonna be today?” and then my till signed itself off. Oh, if only it were that easy...
7:31am
The shop opened at 7 and so far I have served 2 people. Considering that fact I though the shop opened at 8 that’s more than I was expecting. Then again it’s more than I expected after learning it opened at 7...
7:33am
Ah...I get to experience the delight that is the early morning nutters. They’re ever so sprightly. I’m used to the afternoon ones you see, far more lethargic than these critters. I just had one bloke come in and ask me if the world had ended, to which I replied “Er... in the last half hour? No one’s except mine”. He then paid for something that was worth £5 with £7, even though all I did was take the £2 he gave me and give it back to him. He tipped an imaginary hat to me, walked outside to the other side of the town centre and jumped around a lamppost, blurted out “The World has ended already! We all missed out!!” and then skipped towards the pub. It wasn’t until I saw he was wearing lime green legwarmers that I realised he really was crazy though.
7:38am
Maybe that guy was right. Maybe the world has ended. There are literally NO people here whatsoever
7:41am
I can’t believe I’ve been here 41 minutes. How is that even possible, for time to move that slowly? Then again Somerfield is the Beccles equivalent to Sunnydale’s Hellmouth, and the basic laws of physics don’t apply here. That’s how they’re able to charge £2.50 for a punnet of grapes and call it a ‘Special Offer’
7:44am
My till keeps making me jump every time it signs off. Just to put into perspective how useless me standing here is, the till signs off after it hasn’t been used for like 7 minutes. It’s signed of now on 4 separate occasions. Of its own volition.
7:47am
Somerfield is usually overrun by wasps. At this moment in time there are no wasps. Wanna know why? ‘Cos even they’re not stupid enough to get up this early. Who even shops at 7 in the morning? WHO?!?! I have yet to serve anyone under the age of 35.
7:53am
GASP. An incredibly good looking freckly man has come into the shop. He has good hair (red- duh), nice build, and is quit tall. Oh I hope he buys something!
7:56am a quick look in the mirror bit of the till reveals what I have known all along- I am fugly. However, it’s also revealed something I didn’t know- at this time of the morning I’m 10 times fuglier. STUPID FRINGE BEHAVE!!
7:57am
ARGH HERE HE COMES!!
8:01am
I am a Smitten Kitten. Conversation was HAD, my friends- HAD. I’m already googling ‘wedding dresses’ on my phone. Hahah not really!! (coughs, looks shifty, hides phone). I made him laugh!!
FB (fittie blokey): (smiling) It’s nice to see such a lovely face in here at this time of the day...
Me: (BLUSH BLUSH BLUSH) Well, it’s nice to be paid such a lovely compliment in here at this time of the day...
FB: Oh really? So does it make waking up at...?
Me: 5:30...
FB: (grimaces. Even his grimacing was cute btw) Ouch! Well, does it make waking up at 5:30 worth it?
Me: (smiling)...almost... but I get given compliments like that at all times of the day, so the fact I had to wake up extra early in order to hear yours doesn’t exactly work in your favour, does it?
FB: (laughs loudly) No, not really. Well, how about if I came in here every hour to say something nice to you? Would that help?
Me (thinking) maybe- but you’d have to wait in line like everyone else
8:05am
I played it coooool. Except from blushing like an absolute numpty.
8:06am
Oh wow, over an hour has passed. Joy.
8:20am
An old man just came into the shop and it suddenly came over freezing cold- like I have Goosebumps on my arms and I’m shivering cold. As he came to the kiosk it got colder, and I was shivering whilst packing his bags, and then as soon as he left the shop it was warm again. Like literally as soon as he walked through the doors I was warm again. My hands got that tingly feeling that happens when you go from cold to hot really fast. Its proper freaked me out!! He seemed lovely though, so I don’t mind if we have an old man ghost in Somerfield
8:31am
A woman was just surprised by the fact I was old enough to sell her alcohol. When I told her I was actually 19 her mouth fell open!! She said she had thought I was about 16 years old, and would have to call my supervisor in order to sell it to her. DAMN STUPID ROUNDED FACE. Everyone always goes “ooohhhh, but you’ll appreciate it when you’re about 40 and people think you’re thirty something”. Well, yeah, fair enough- but I’m not 40 now am I?!?! Although apparently I’m not, believably, 19 either, so my age apparently has no agenda whatsoever. I’m such an enigma sometimes.
And that’s when Tilly came and took me off the tills, and I started delivery. VERY busy day today- I’m about to go have a brew with Panders, then watch Ugly Betty and then persuade Fozz and Kage to watch ‘Little Miss Sunshine’
xXx
Wednesday 29 July 2009
Jurassic Bath
It’s my first day off in 6 days, and I was looking forward to the lie-in to end all lie-ins. A lie-in of such mahusive proportions people would speak of it in centuries to come, stunned that I managed to stay wrapped away from the world in my lovely, albeit cat-hair-covered, duvet for as long as I did. Well, at least I wanted to make it to 11. I would’ve been happy to wake up at 11. But what time did I wake up? No, wait, let me rephrase that- what time was I woken up by the sound of drills and saws? 8:30 am. EIGHT-THIRTY-AM.
Wanna know why? At the minute we are having our bathroom/ loo completely redone by a builder who is the exact spit of the character Dennis Nedry in Jurassic Park. Like double take worthy. When I opened the door to him on the first day of buildage I instantly looked over his shoulder into his van to see if there was a Dilophosaurus waiting for him. He’d only been here three days when he started scheming;
Builder/Nedry: Er, where’s your electricity meter? I need to just have a look at it quickly
Mum: Oh, it’s just over he- Amy, what are you doing?
(Mum goes to show him where but I pull her to one side)
Me: You can’t mum!
Mum: What are you talking about?
Me: You can’t show him where the power is!
Mum: Why the hell not?!
Me: He’ll switch off the power and all the dinosaurs will get out!! They’ll eat lawyers off our toilet, Richard Attenborough will misplace his grandchildren and we have no Sam Neil Mum- WE HAVE NO SAM NEIL!! Do you really want the death of Samuel L Jackson on your conscience?!?!
(Mum walks away)
Me: FINE! IAN MALCOLM ME, WHY DON'T YOU?!? IGNORE MY WARNINGS!! BUT REMEMBER; LIFE FINDS A WAY MA- LIFE FINDS A WAY!!!
Of course whilst looking for the Dilophosaurus, I didn’t realise then just how lucky we would’ve been had he met a spit-filled and dinosaur themed demise- I do now. You know how you get those people who talk constantly but never actually say anything? Yeah, he’s like the reigning champion of useless chatter. He’s also the slowest builder in the history of slow builders. Also he sings when he’s working- LOUDLY. But not actual singing, he like mutters the words. We don’t like him. Bloody Nedry.
That’s it for now. Sorry I’m not writing much- it’s just nothing much is happening, just Scummerfields. And no one wants to hear about that.
xXx
Wanna know why? At the minute we are having our bathroom/ loo completely redone by a builder who is the exact spit of the character Dennis Nedry in Jurassic Park. Like double take worthy. When I opened the door to him on the first day of buildage I instantly looked over his shoulder into his van to see if there was a Dilophosaurus waiting for him. He’d only been here three days when he started scheming;
Builder/Nedry: Er, where’s your electricity meter? I need to just have a look at it quickly
Mum: Oh, it’s just over he- Amy, what are you doing?
(Mum goes to show him where but I pull her to one side)
Me: You can’t mum!
Mum: What are you talking about?
Me: You can’t show him where the power is!
Mum: Why the hell not?!
Me: He’ll switch off the power and all the dinosaurs will get out!! They’ll eat lawyers off our toilet, Richard Attenborough will misplace his grandchildren and we have no Sam Neil Mum- WE HAVE NO SAM NEIL!! Do you really want the death of Samuel L Jackson on your conscience?!?!
(Mum walks away)
Me: FINE! IAN MALCOLM ME, WHY DON'T YOU?!? IGNORE MY WARNINGS!! BUT REMEMBER; LIFE FINDS A WAY MA- LIFE FINDS A WAY!!!
Of course whilst looking for the Dilophosaurus, I didn’t realise then just how lucky we would’ve been had he met a spit-filled and dinosaur themed demise- I do now. You know how you get those people who talk constantly but never actually say anything? Yeah, he’s like the reigning champion of useless chatter. He’s also the slowest builder in the history of slow builders. Also he sings when he’s working- LOUDLY. But not actual singing, he like mutters the words. We don’t like him. Bloody Nedry.
That’s it for now. Sorry I’m not writing much- it’s just nothing much is happening, just Scummerfields. And no one wants to hear about that.
xXx
Friday 24 July 2009
No Blog and No writing makes Amy Something Something...
I’m sorry wonderful bloggatron readers that I have left you cold, neglected and forgotten for so long. My other blog with Crudenforth has ashamedly somewhat obscured the wonder of my world, plus Somerfield has stolen my days and is holding them captive until September and alas, due to excessive spending and a confusing place called ‘University’ that insists on charging me to get drunk, I need to cooperate with them in order to win back some of my thieved English Benjamins .
So what’s been happening in my world? I think a more appropriate question would be what HASN’T been happening in my world?! And the answer to that my friends is everything. Everything hasn’t been happening.
I had a swine flu scare which turned out to be nothing more than a persistent and annoying combination of hayfever, a cold and a sickness bug; Throw in my often melodramatic personality and you’ve got a hypochondriac’s wet dream right there my friends. Other than that my time has been taken up by working in Somerfield, complaining about working in Somerfield and plotting ways to destroy Somerfield so that I don’t have to work there anymore.
Actually that’s a lie- I had a really lovely night out with Tilly and Bailes last week where we just went to a few pubs for catch up and the like. It didn’t matter that I’d lost my ID (I’m such a idiot, I’ve blatantly dropped it somewhere but god knows where) because Ben works in the King’s Head and Ross works in the Waveney- SWEET. The effect of not being at Uni has certainly taken its toll as I was really quite drunk after only 4 single southern comfort and lemonades; Fresher’s week is going to be cheap and painful by the sounds of things :D
Also I went to Norwich with Spoon on Wednesday and that was EPICALLY GOOD. I can’t remember the last time I laughed that hard, but it was so cool cos it was like we hadn’t even had a year away from home and not seeing each other- it was like an elongated version of our infamous sixth form frees, except there was no Bethany and we didn’t do the More Crossword (“How do you spell rampant?!” AHAHAHAH!!)
Also, congrats to Jack-The-Lad, who passed his driving test on Tuesday, FIRST TIME!!YAYAY JACK!!! I’m so chuffed for him, he worked so hard, and now he gets to drive his gorgeous blue car around :D i have to say though that I’m particularly happy for a rather selfish reason- because Jack can drive this means he and Kage can come visit me in Canters next term and stay and stuff!! Gonna be EPIC.
CONGRATS COUNT JACKULAR!!
I have sustained many injuries since I last wrote, mainly clumsiness related – I tripped over a speed-bump in Tesco car park and spazzed my hand up so badly- but the worst of which was when i was doing delivery for work I sliced open my finger whilst trying to open a cardboard box. Anyone who’s experienced a Cardboard cut knows it’s far more extreme and painful than a paper cut. My slid down the side of the top of my finger and along the bottom of my nail. I hate the taste of blood so I couldn’t suck it and it was bleeding ever so heavily- it was so gross. This week has been ridiculously clumsy, but it’s mostly due to tiredness. I tripped over the basket holder behind the till a few times, and Tilly (not the aforementioned Tilly, another Tilly. So many Tilly’s...) couldn’t stop laughing at me. She said it was really funny cos one minute I was there and then the next minute I was just gone. I also dropped a four pack of Budweiser beer from the 3rd shelf- it literally exploded, there was beer and glass everywhere; NOT COOL.
Anyhoo, I best go now- I have to be up at 9 for work related issues, plus Kage is getting crabby cos she’s sleepy. And I’m kinda shattered meself. Off to a wonderful daydreamy lovely restfulness world of sleep. I’m actually excited about going to bed, how sad is that?!
Night my lovelies ^^
xXx
So what’s been happening in my world? I think a more appropriate question would be what HASN’T been happening in my world?! And the answer to that my friends is everything. Everything hasn’t been happening.
I had a swine flu scare which turned out to be nothing more than a persistent and annoying combination of hayfever, a cold and a sickness bug; Throw in my often melodramatic personality and you’ve got a hypochondriac’s wet dream right there my friends. Other than that my time has been taken up by working in Somerfield, complaining about working in Somerfield and plotting ways to destroy Somerfield so that I don’t have to work there anymore.
Actually that’s a lie- I had a really lovely night out with Tilly and Bailes last week where we just went to a few pubs for catch up and the like. It didn’t matter that I’d lost my ID (I’m such a idiot, I’ve blatantly dropped it somewhere but god knows where) because Ben works in the King’s Head and Ross works in the Waveney- SWEET. The effect of not being at Uni has certainly taken its toll as I was really quite drunk after only 4 single southern comfort and lemonades; Fresher’s week is going to be cheap and painful by the sounds of things :D
Also I went to Norwich with Spoon on Wednesday and that was EPICALLY GOOD. I can’t remember the last time I laughed that hard, but it was so cool cos it was like we hadn’t even had a year away from home and not seeing each other- it was like an elongated version of our infamous sixth form frees, except there was no Bethany and we didn’t do the More Crossword (“How do you spell rampant?!” AHAHAHAH!!)
Also, congrats to Jack-The-Lad, who passed his driving test on Tuesday, FIRST TIME!!YAYAY JACK!!! I’m so chuffed for him, he worked so hard, and now he gets to drive his gorgeous blue car around :D i have to say though that I’m particularly happy for a rather selfish reason- because Jack can drive this means he and Kage can come visit me in Canters next term and stay and stuff!! Gonna be EPIC.
CONGRATS COUNT JACKULAR!!
I have sustained many injuries since I last wrote, mainly clumsiness related – I tripped over a speed-bump in Tesco car park and spazzed my hand up so badly- but the worst of which was when i was doing delivery for work I sliced open my finger whilst trying to open a cardboard box. Anyone who’s experienced a Cardboard cut knows it’s far more extreme and painful than a paper cut. My slid down the side of the top of my finger and along the bottom of my nail. I hate the taste of blood so I couldn’t suck it and it was bleeding ever so heavily- it was so gross. This week has been ridiculously clumsy, but it’s mostly due to tiredness. I tripped over the basket holder behind the till a few times, and Tilly (not the aforementioned Tilly, another Tilly. So many Tilly’s...) couldn’t stop laughing at me. She said it was really funny cos one minute I was there and then the next minute I was just gone. I also dropped a four pack of Budweiser beer from the 3rd shelf- it literally exploded, there was beer and glass everywhere; NOT COOL.
Anyhoo, I best go now- I have to be up at 9 for work related issues, plus Kage is getting crabby cos she’s sleepy. And I’m kinda shattered meself. Off to a wonderful daydreamy lovely restfulness world of sleep. I’m actually excited about going to bed, how sad is that?!
Night my lovelies ^^
xXx
Tuesday 14 July 2009
Rain Run
We had terrential rain suddenly come down here in ye olde Beccles. It was scarily heavy, so i promised Fozz i would pay him in a currency he could comprehend- Haribo- if he would run from one end of our 120ft long garden to the other. He did.
The Haribo cost me £1.32. It was worth it.
xXx
Monday 13 July 2009
#Look for the BEAR Neccessities...#
Fozz: Koala’s ARE bears
Mum: Aren’t they marsupials?
Amy: Yeah...
Fozz: No, they’re bears. Koala BEARS
Mum: No, Joe-
Fozz: KOALA BEARS
Mum: No, they’re marsupials
Fozz: But that’s like saying Pandas aren’t bears
Mum: Er, they’re not. They’re Pandas!
Fozz: (incredulous)...But they’re called Panda BEARS!! BE-ARS!!
Mum: Pandas are just Pandas- they’re not bears. And Koalas are Marsupials.
Fozz: HOW?! Koala BEARS! Panda BEARS!! Bears and Pandas, Koala’s ...THEY’RE BEARS!!
Mum: Actually, Koala’s are more like wombats
Fozz: What?! Wombats are much smaller!!
Mum: Wombats are massive!!Seriously, wombats are big!!
Fozz: ... Yeah, well they’re not Pandas!
Mum: Well, no, I suppose they’re not because Pandas are black and white and live in China-
Fozz: Oh, so now it’s a racial thing...
xXx
Mum: Aren’t they marsupials?
Amy: Yeah...
Fozz: No, they’re bears. Koala BEARS
Mum: No, Joe-
Fozz: KOALA BEARS
Mum: No, they’re marsupials
Fozz: But that’s like saying Pandas aren’t bears
Mum: Er, they’re not. They’re Pandas!
Fozz: (incredulous)...But they’re called Panda BEARS!! BE-ARS!!
Mum: Pandas are just Pandas- they’re not bears. And Koalas are Marsupials.
Fozz: HOW?! Koala BEARS! Panda BEARS!! Bears and Pandas, Koala’s ...THEY’RE BEARS!!
Mum: Actually, Koala’s are more like wombats
Fozz: What?! Wombats are much smaller!!
Mum: Wombats are massive!!Seriously, wombats are big!!
Fozz: ... Yeah, well they’re not Pandas!
Mum: Well, no, I suppose they’re not because Pandas are black and white and live in China-
Fozz: Oh, so now it’s a racial thing...
xXx
Koala's-The animal that stuck 2 fingers up at evolution. Apparently.
Mum: Crocodiles are so effective
Fozz: Huh?!
Mum: Crocodiles. They’re so effective at what they do!!They haven’t had to evolves for millions of years!!
Fozz: Like sharks!
Mum: Yeah!
Fozz: And bears!!
Mum: Er, no Joe, not bears-
Fozz: And Koalas!!
xXx
Fozz: Huh?!
Mum: Crocodiles. They’re so effective at what they do!!They haven’t had to evolves for millions of years!!
Fozz: Like sharks!
Mum: Yeah!
Fozz: And bears!!
Mum: Er, no Joe, not bears-
Fozz: And Koalas!!
xXx
Friday 10 July 2009
Indecision is a bitch
Amy: SO what are we gonna watch?
Fozz: I dunno, what do you wanna watch?
Amy: Nah, you choose
Fozz: Ok, er, would you mind if i put on Avenged Sevenfold?
Amy: No, not that
Fozz: Oh come on, you just said i can choose!
Amy: Yeah, and you can- choose anything else, just NOT that
Fozz: Ok, that's fine. Erm...anything yeah?
Amy: Yep
Fozz:...Ooh, I know! Transformers!
Amy:...Nah, not that
(Fozz looks at Amy despairingly)
Amy: What? I've seen it too often!
Fozz: (sighs) All right then; What do YOU want to watch?
Amy: I dunno man, you choose
(Fozz walks away)
xXx
Fozz: I dunno, what do you wanna watch?
Amy: Nah, you choose
Fozz: Ok, er, would you mind if i put on Avenged Sevenfold?
Amy: No, not that
Fozz: Oh come on, you just said i can choose!
Amy: Yeah, and you can- choose anything else, just NOT that
Fozz: Ok, that's fine. Erm...anything yeah?
Amy: Yep
Fozz:...Ooh, I know! Transformers!
Amy:...Nah, not that
(Fozz looks at Amy despairingly)
Amy: What? I've seen it too often!
Fozz: (sighs) All right then; What do YOU want to watch?
Amy: I dunno man, you choose
(Fozz walks away)
xXx
Gimme Gimme Gimme
It's not often i fall in love with items of clothing- that kind of instant-desire-need-to-own-upon-seeing is usually reserved for either DVD Boxsets, Books and Matt Bellamy.
But This?
I WANT THIS.
Westwood FTW.
xXx
Wednesday 8 July 2009
Monday 6 July 2009
It's like Thunder! (POW!) Lightning! (POW!POW!)
There's a big ol' thunderstormio. Niiice.
Watching 'Love Actually'. Actually i started watching it, kage and beth watched the first bit cos kage has never seen it and then they left, i kept watching and then when they came back kage made me rewind it so im watching something i watched half an hour ago again. Ok, that sentence stopped making sense right around the time that it started.
I don't really have much to say right now but i'm seeing Transformers 2 this afternoon hopefully so i should imagine i'll have loads to say later :)
xXx
Watching 'Love Actually'. Actually i started watching it, kage and beth watched the first bit cos kage has never seen it and then they left, i kept watching and then when they came back kage made me rewind it so im watching something i watched half an hour ago again. Ok, that sentence stopped making sense right around the time that it started.
I don't really have much to say right now but i'm seeing Transformers 2 this afternoon hopefully so i should imagine i'll have loads to say later :)
xXx
Friday 3 July 2009
Brilliant.
Necessary Backround information;
-Fozz occasionally borrows Jack's X Box, and talks to his friends on Jack's X Box Live account. However, Jack now has his X Box back, and so any messages sent to Fozz would be read by Jack.
-Fozz and his guy mates often refer to each other as 'babes' and 'darling' and pretend to be in relationships when talking. No ACTUAL dude sweat occurs though
Fozz just got this message from his friend John Campling, Hereafter known as Johnny Campz;
"Hey babe, just wanted to say luff yhoo also look on ur xbox i sent u a message it hott"
This made me laugh so hard and for such a very long time that i forgot 'Pan's Labrinth' is on. But i've remembered now, so byeeee!!
xXx
-Fozz occasionally borrows Jack's X Box, and talks to his friends on Jack's X Box Live account. However, Jack now has his X Box back, and so any messages sent to Fozz would be read by Jack.
-Fozz and his guy mates often refer to each other as 'babes' and 'darling' and pretend to be in relationships when talking. No ACTUAL dude sweat occurs though
Fozz just got this message from his friend John Campling, Hereafter known as Johnny Campz;
"Hey babe, just wanted to say luff yhoo also look on ur xbox i sent u a message it hott"
This made me laugh so hard and for such a very long time that i forgot 'Pan's Labrinth' is on. But i've remembered now, so byeeee!!
xXx
Wam, Bam, Thank ya Dam
I have a theory- that Damian Lewis was created SOLELY for my viewing/listening pleasure. Hey, call me crazy- SAY WHAT YOU WILL- But it's the goddamn truth ladies and gentlemen. The man is basically walking sex; There's no arguing that!! Not only is he THE ginger Prince (an official title, might i add) But he is solely responsible for leading me astray on the path of what is (ab)normally conceived to be an unattractive hair colour- he converted me to Red-Haired blokey blokes. NOW Pre-Lewis, i held no preferences for hair colour; hell i didn't care to much about what the hair looked like. But Post-Lewis? Then came Simon Pegg, Scott Grimes, Rupert Grint. GINGER AS THE DAY IS LONG. And i LOVE it
Not only this- but my discovery of Damian Lewis came about when i stumbled upon an episode of 'Have I Got News For You', a show which i generally avoid because Ian Hislop is such a annoying, arrogant, haughty prick, but Damien Lewis did the unthinkable; HE MADE IAN HISLOP BEARABLE. THAT is true power, at it's mightiest my friends. I have yet to see anyone else achieve such a feat of engineering- hence why i still don't watch 'Have I Got News For You'
And there is of course the fact he is in my favourite TV show- ah to hell with it, my favourite thing EVER; Band Of Brothers. I won't dwell on that for too long though- my love for that show could fill up a million blogs, but i only have the one ^^
So there you have it- my love for Damian Lewis has resulted in a blog dedicated to his name. Even Matt Bellamy hasn't got one yet. I say yet because come November i should imagine i'll have a whole separate internet set up to dedicate purely to him
I'm ever so tired so i'm going to bed now. my eyes are dropping and i feel i have misspelled almost every word upon this page
xXx
Not only this- but my discovery of Damian Lewis came about when i stumbled upon an episode of 'Have I Got News For You', a show which i generally avoid because Ian Hislop is such a annoying, arrogant, haughty prick, but Damien Lewis did the unthinkable; HE MADE IAN HISLOP BEARABLE. THAT is true power, at it's mightiest my friends. I have yet to see anyone else achieve such a feat of engineering- hence why i still don't watch 'Have I Got News For You'
And there is of course the fact he is in my favourite TV show- ah to hell with it, my favourite thing EVER; Band Of Brothers. I won't dwell on that for too long though- my love for that show could fill up a million blogs, but i only have the one ^^
So there you have it- my love for Damian Lewis has resulted in a blog dedicated to his name. Even Matt Bellamy hasn't got one yet. I say yet because come November i should imagine i'll have a whole separate internet set up to dedicate purely to him
I'm ever so tired so i'm going to bed now. my eyes are dropping and i feel i have misspelled almost every word upon this page
xXx
Tuesday 30 June 2009
Friday 26 June 2009
The Amyprentice
I was on The Apprentice today. Kinda. At work Gav said he had a special job for me to do- his motives are somewhat questionable sometimes so I was a bit apprehensive as to what this ‘special’ job could’ve been, but thought “Meh. Beat’s facing up”. The job was that he gave me a trolley stacked with stock and i had to sell as much of it as i could before my shift finished at 5- i started selling at 1. To start with i was absolutely mortified, which wasn’t helped by Ben, Georgia and Gav all hanging around trying to see how i was gonna go about doing it. I found it cringe-worthy to be standing there going “Hello, can i interest you in our special offers?” but Gav said he wanted to see how capable i was, so i persevered; First things first i felt the need to come up with a motto that would keep me going when even the old people looked at me judgementally- ‘WWSASD’ What Would Sir Alan Sugar Do?. Once this had been established, every time i felt a slight twinge of embarrassment i would shout at myself in my head “WWASD” and then all embarrassment would be replaced with an overwhelming sense of sales capability and pure London grit. I imagined Paula and Tilly behind the till to be Nick and Margaret- (it was hard, seeing as neither of them warranted the honour of being such a necessity in my now overtly Sugar-Laden world) and started trying to sell. At first i wasn’t very good, and was a bit mumbly, but after a while i started being more confident and had no problem at- apart from the fact no one wanted to buy anything. Well, i say that- i did sell some stuff to start with but mostly i just got looks of confusion and annoyance, and was repeatedly asked questions such as “Where’s a good place to buy postcards in Beccles?” and “Where are the nearest toilets?”. i felt like saying “I’m not bloody ‘Tourist Information’” but i figured just because i had now embraced the spirit of Sir Alan Sugar this didn’t permit me to become blatantly rude to people i didn’t know and so instead pointed them in the direction of both the Old lady who sells postcards in her little shop and also to the public toilets whilst praying to god that the old man who smelled like stale bread and spoke to my breasts wouldn’t confuse the two.
After an hour i really felt like my attempts to sell were falling flat on their Sugary arses. There’s a wonderful mental image. Anyway, i went to go find gav and tell him things were going a bit not good., but he told me to keep on it and move if i felt like i needed to- so i did. And i sold TONS. I WAS ON FIRE!!!! By the time my shift had finished i had 5 items of stock left, and had done myself proud. However, i was also absolutely shattered- so tired in fact that towards the end instead of saying “Can i interest you in any of our offers today?” i kept saying “Can i offer you any of our interests today?” and after my shift ended, as i was leaving, Ben gave me some baskets to put at the front of the shop and as he handed them to me i said “Would you like a bag?”. He simply smiled and said “I think someone needs to go home now” and i stumbled out of the shop, where i waited for 10 minutes for my dad to pick me up before remembering he was doing an SA and in fact wouldn’t actually get home until gone 6.
And that was first task on ‘The Apprentice’ complete- i’m hoping next week i’ll get to invent my own toy or choose merchandise to sell to buyers. Or maybe, just maybe, i’ll be put behind the tills for 4 hours straight, with no seating and an endless line of grumpy, smelly customers waiting to tell me i’ve packed too much into one bag and demand a bag for almost every item. If i’m lucky ^^
xXx
After an hour i really felt like my attempts to sell were falling flat on their Sugary arses. There’s a wonderful mental image. Anyway, i went to go find gav and tell him things were going a bit not good., but he told me to keep on it and move if i felt like i needed to- so i did. And i sold TONS. I WAS ON FIRE!!!! By the time my shift had finished i had 5 items of stock left, and had done myself proud. However, i was also absolutely shattered- so tired in fact that towards the end instead of saying “Can i interest you in any of our offers today?” i kept saying “Can i offer you any of our interests today?” and after my shift ended, as i was leaving, Ben gave me some baskets to put at the front of the shop and as he handed them to me i said “Would you like a bag?”. He simply smiled and said “I think someone needs to go home now” and i stumbled out of the shop, where i waited for 10 minutes for my dad to pick me up before remembering he was doing an SA and in fact wouldn’t actually get home until gone 6.
And that was first task on ‘The Apprentice’ complete- i’m hoping next week i’ll get to invent my own toy or choose merchandise to sell to buyers. Or maybe, just maybe, i’ll be put behind the tills for 4 hours straight, with no seating and an endless line of grumpy, smelly customers waiting to tell me i’ve packed too much into one bag and demand a bag for almost every item. If i’m lucky ^^
xXx
Tuesday 23 June 2009
I am not a fan of dogs.
See, this is why i prefer cats so much more to dogs.
our neighbours dogs have been barking now for about 3 hours- constantly. seriously, they have not let up. and he has 2 Alsatians and a Labrador; THESE ARE BLOODY LOUD DOGS. it's so annoying!!! Cats meow and riaow until you feed them, or fuss them and then they shut up!!!but dogs? oh no- dogs just don't stop.
AND my dad got bitten by a dog yesterday whilst on his postie round- the bloody thing has left puncture marks in the back of his legs. and the owner didn't even fucking care!! How ridiculous is that?! Dad said she just went "Oh no, don't do that" to the dog, but didn't come and get it- she just let it stand there biting my dad. stupid bitch. my dad's got all bite marks up his legs now, it's a joke.
I hate dog owners attitudes as well. they seem to get it into their heads that if their dog attacks you it's somehow your fault- a few years ago on my way to school i was walking past a man who was walking his dog and the dog suddenly went for and got hold of the sleeve of my jacket and started yanking at my sleeve and growling- i was terrified!! and then the bloke, once he'd gotten the dog to let go of me, had the nerve to say "Well, you shouldn't have walked so close to him- he tends to bite people" to which i replied "And you should have a muzzle on him, if you know he bites!How am i supposed to know he bites?! Read his mind?!" and he stood there going "It's not my fault" . Well i can't see how it was mine!! Oh, no, wait- i forgot; It's a cardinal rule that if you see a dog being walked you're not supposed to walk past it, you have to lie out a red carpet for it's owner and then wear and suit of steel so as not to come to harm. Utter Wanker.
Another thing that annoys me is when owners defend their dogs jumping up at people when they see them- i don't care how 'happy' he is to see me, he's knocking me the fuck over!! and i don't want some slobbering massive dog in my face!! they never call them off, they just stand their laughing. i just feel like getting some really wound up raccoon and just launching at them saying "Oh look- he likes you!!" whilst they get covered in scratches and raccoon-ness. dunno where i'd get a raccoon though. Particularly a wound up one- they seem pretty chill all the time...
I know that dogs can be lovely- guide dogs are the tits, lets face it. you give a blind person a cat and the cat would watch as they stumbled into a busy road before walking away to find someone to either fuss them or feed them. but you know- the good dogs can't shoulder the responsibility of their kind all their lives. Plus a lot of the time it's not particularly the dogs fault, but their pathetic owners. But all the same, i'm just not a fan. which is a shame really, because when i was a baby we had a dog called Sam, who was my dad's German Shepperd dog he'd had since he lived in London, and Dad said that we were inseparable, and Sam was really protective of me- but he was put down when i was 3, so i cant remember him at all. the photos of him and me make me smile though.
But still- idiot dogs. Stupid idiot owners.
Ok, rant over ^^
xXx
our neighbours dogs have been barking now for about 3 hours- constantly. seriously, they have not let up. and he has 2 Alsatians and a Labrador; THESE ARE BLOODY LOUD DOGS. it's so annoying!!! Cats meow and riaow until you feed them, or fuss them and then they shut up!!!but dogs? oh no- dogs just don't stop.
AND my dad got bitten by a dog yesterday whilst on his postie round- the bloody thing has left puncture marks in the back of his legs. and the owner didn't even fucking care!! How ridiculous is that?! Dad said she just went "Oh no, don't do that" to the dog, but didn't come and get it- she just let it stand there biting my dad. stupid bitch. my dad's got all bite marks up his legs now, it's a joke.
I hate dog owners attitudes as well. they seem to get it into their heads that if their dog attacks you it's somehow your fault- a few years ago on my way to school i was walking past a man who was walking his dog and the dog suddenly went for and got hold of the sleeve of my jacket and started yanking at my sleeve and growling- i was terrified!! and then the bloke, once he'd gotten the dog to let go of me, had the nerve to say "Well, you shouldn't have walked so close to him- he tends to bite people" to which i replied "And you should have a muzzle on him, if you know he bites!How am i supposed to know he bites?! Read his mind?!" and he stood there going "It's not my fault" . Well i can't see how it was mine!! Oh, no, wait- i forgot; It's a cardinal rule that if you see a dog being walked you're not supposed to walk past it, you have to lie out a red carpet for it's owner and then wear and suit of steel so as not to come to harm. Utter Wanker.
Another thing that annoys me is when owners defend their dogs jumping up at people when they see them- i don't care how 'happy' he is to see me, he's knocking me the fuck over!! and i don't want some slobbering massive dog in my face!! they never call them off, they just stand their laughing. i just feel like getting some really wound up raccoon and just launching at them saying "Oh look- he likes you!!" whilst they get covered in scratches and raccoon-ness. dunno where i'd get a raccoon though. Particularly a wound up one- they seem pretty chill all the time...
I know that dogs can be lovely- guide dogs are the tits, lets face it. you give a blind person a cat and the cat would watch as they stumbled into a busy road before walking away to find someone to either fuss them or feed them. but you know- the good dogs can't shoulder the responsibility of their kind all their lives. Plus a lot of the time it's not particularly the dogs fault, but their pathetic owners. But all the same, i'm just not a fan. which is a shame really, because when i was a baby we had a dog called Sam, who was my dad's German Shepperd dog he'd had since he lived in London, and Dad said that we were inseparable, and Sam was really protective of me- but he was put down when i was 3, so i cant remember him at all. the photos of him and me make me smile though.
But still- idiot dogs. Stupid idiot owners.
Ok, rant over ^^
xXx
Friday 19 June 2009
Wednesday 17 June 2009
Homesick
If you’d asked me three weeks ago “Would you rather stay at Uni with everyone over the summer or go home?” I would have gone “Home. Can I go now, actually?” No doubt in my mind whatsoever.
But now? The former wins easy. I LOVE being at home, I’m having a fab time with my family and i love them to bits- but today I’ve been missing uni far far FAR more than i ever have done. I seriously just want to go back. So much is changing next year, it’s scary but it doesn’t make me want to go back any less. Home is lovely, but there’s hardly any freedom, i can’t go out if i fancy going out, none of my friends are back from uni for another few weeks, and some aren’t even coming back, and the worst one of all is that no one from uni is here. That’s the bit that’s getting me down the most- missing everyone. I didn’t think it’d last that long- i thought pretty much as soon as i got home i might stop missing them so much. I wouldn’t stop missing them entirely but maybe the missing them bit would dim ever so slightly. But all that’s happened is the feeling has gotten much worse, which sucks just so much. Work doesn’t help- i mean money wise “Yay!” but otherwise it’s just...well i shouldn’t complain really. I’d be complaining if i didn’t have a job that’s the annoying thing.
I don’t think le famille quite get it to be honest. They can’t seem to understand why i’d want to go back- particularly ma. I can’t really say to them how much i miss uni cos i really don’t want to hurt their feelings- i really do love being at home, and just because i want to go doesn’t mean i love being with them any less but it’s just so confusing. Today has been a very Coldplay day.
And the VERY worst part of it? I’ve been away for not even 4 full days yet. And there’s three months!!
Sigh.
They we go. Moany overtly emotional blog of the week is finished.
xXx
But now? The former wins easy. I LOVE being at home, I’m having a fab time with my family and i love them to bits- but today I’ve been missing uni far far FAR more than i ever have done. I seriously just want to go back. So much is changing next year, it’s scary but it doesn’t make me want to go back any less. Home is lovely, but there’s hardly any freedom, i can’t go out if i fancy going out, none of my friends are back from uni for another few weeks, and some aren’t even coming back, and the worst one of all is that no one from uni is here. That’s the bit that’s getting me down the most- missing everyone. I didn’t think it’d last that long- i thought pretty much as soon as i got home i might stop missing them so much. I wouldn’t stop missing them entirely but maybe the missing them bit would dim ever so slightly. But all that’s happened is the feeling has gotten much worse, which sucks just so much. Work doesn’t help- i mean money wise “Yay!” but otherwise it’s just...well i shouldn’t complain really. I’d be complaining if i didn’t have a job that’s the annoying thing.
I don’t think le famille quite get it to be honest. They can’t seem to understand why i’d want to go back- particularly ma. I can’t really say to them how much i miss uni cos i really don’t want to hurt their feelings- i really do love being at home, and just because i want to go doesn’t mean i love being with them any less but it’s just so confusing. Today has been a very Coldplay day.
And the VERY worst part of it? I’ve been away for not even 4 full days yet. And there’s three months!!
Sigh.
They we go. Moany overtly emotional blog of the week is finished.
xXx
Tuesday 16 June 2009
The return to Scummerfield
Oh Somerfield. Whilst i do love to complain about your blight upon my summer you are giving me wonderful mons that i can then spend on seeing my university chums. God rest ye and all that serve in you. That's sounded very dirty then. Oh my.
Yeah, so it was ok. an 8 hour day isn't the worst i've ever done- that spectacular feat goes to the time i started at 7, finished at 7 and was only given a half hour break. Bad times. But anyway, yeah- twas good. I got to see everyone again ,which was lovely. I swear to god ben must've been high or something cos every time he saw me he threw his arms up in the air and screamed "AMY AMY AMY!!!!"- even though he'd been in since 6. Either that or he fancies me. Both are probable- the latter being the most believable. I mean, it's me right? PHWOAR.
So anyways, saw everyone again, started working again;
-Number of times i tripped over the till lock; 4
-Number of times i got a cut from various pieces of cardboard, paper or plastic; 3
-Number of times i got perved at by old men; 3
-Number of times i knocked over the biscuit display i spent 15 minutes doing; 5
It was a good day. The worst bit was when blokes kept looking at my chest and then when i would say "Excuse me, can i help you?" They'd pretend they'd been looking at my badge and go "Yes, er, Amy, is it?". It pissed me off something rotten but ah well- what does it matter? Old men get their jollies and i get to imagine kicking them so hard in their jollies they cry- whilst being paid ^^
The cardboard cuts are ridiculously painful, mind
I'm gonna finish watching Iron Man with Fozzotron and then maybe watch something else. tomorrow's my day off so i get to chillax and hang out with Dad, Fozz and Eli- gonna be epic.
xXx
Yeah, so it was ok. an 8 hour day isn't the worst i've ever done- that spectacular feat goes to the time i started at 7, finished at 7 and was only given a half hour break. Bad times. But anyway, yeah- twas good. I got to see everyone again ,which was lovely. I swear to god ben must've been high or something cos every time he saw me he threw his arms up in the air and screamed "AMY AMY AMY!!!!"- even though he'd been in since 6. Either that or he fancies me. Both are probable- the latter being the most believable. I mean, it's me right? PHWOAR.
So anyways, saw everyone again, started working again;
-Number of times i tripped over the till lock; 4
-Number of times i got a cut from various pieces of cardboard, paper or plastic; 3
-Number of times i got perved at by old men; 3
-Number of times i knocked over the biscuit display i spent 15 minutes doing; 5
It was a good day. The worst bit was when blokes kept looking at my chest and then when i would say "Excuse me, can i help you?" They'd pretend they'd been looking at my badge and go "Yes, er, Amy, is it?". It pissed me off something rotten but ah well- what does it matter? Old men get their jollies and i get to imagine kicking them so hard in their jollies they cry- whilst being paid ^^
The cardboard cuts are ridiculously painful, mind
I'm gonna finish watching Iron Man with Fozzotron and then maybe watch something else. tomorrow's my day off so i get to chillax and hang out with Dad, Fozz and Eli- gonna be epic.
xXx
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