Size (Never) Matters

There has never been a time in my life where I have been 'slim'. When I was younger I was a lot bigger than most of the other girls around me, and believe me when I say they let me know about it. But when I reached 14 I started playing more sports (rounders FTW), and puberty took it's course, and I lost a couple of stone and went down from a, at my age and height simply obese, size 18 to a more manageable size 14. Since then, I have always been that size; I am 5'2" and size 14. That is my size.

I have tried very hard in the past to lose weight. I mean, really hard. Diets, excessive exercise. There was a period of time I am ashamed to admit where I avoided eating altogether. And do you know what happened? Nothing. I lost no weight. My legs became slightly more toned, but my tummy and thighs still wobbled as much as they used to. My fitness levels were brilliant, but my body did not change.

I came to this simple conclusion; In the same way that many slim people can eat whatever they wish and not gain a pound, I can exercise and diet as much as I wish, and I will not lose a pound. It would be very easy to complain about this, hate myself and avoid mirrors and wearing wonderful clothes that show off my body shape. But I choose not to; I choose to accept who I am, and the shape I am. I love me as much as I can without dallying into arrogance, and I wear clothes that make the most of my shape. I don't shy away from showing myself and my personality off. I used to; I'm not gonna lie, there are still moments where I cannot stand my body (to be honest, If it were up to me I would be a size 12). But as my efforts have shown, it really isn't up to me!

I read a newspaper article today, that spoke of how less and less women feel it's necessary to tone up for the summer, because we have become lazy. It upset me, because I still try very hard to keep my fitness levels up, but I'm not what most people would consider 'toned up for summer'. I've recently taken up biking, and average out about 10 miles a day, and I'm probably fitter than some of the naturally slim people I know! I can imagine this is the case for a lot of women, for whom a lot of pressure is placed to be labelled 'toned for summer', but because we are not slim, does not mean we are lazy. How is 10 miles a day on a bike lazy? I'm not trying to tone up for summer, and I feel it's horrific that because a certain time of the year has come around suddenly we have to be picturesque statues walking around in bikinis. Some women simply don't have the choice, but the fact is we shouldn't be made to choose in the first place. There should be no expectations of appearance.

I long for a society where the mantra can be 'as long as you're happy'. This doesn't just apply to weight, but all issues of superficiality. Of course, in cases where a person's situation is detrimental to their health then something should be done. But, the fact remains that 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder'; no truer words have ever been spoken. People should stop trying to determine what should and should not be considered beautiful, and just let people be. At 5'2" and size 14, I am technically unfit and overweight and therefore by some considered ugly. But I'm not unfit; most days I don't consider myself to be ugly;I'm certainly not unhappy. I just am.

I would rather spend my time enjoying life than spending time wishing I was different. My friends and family think I am beautiful no matter what. My parents have always told us that the only things that matters is how happy we are. And there's no question of my happiness.

And that's just it; It is in the company of a happy soul that a person can experience real beauty. Not in the words or eyes of a person who knows nothing about you other than your dress size.

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