The choice is yours

I've never been one for decision makage- i am very much a girl who likes to leave her options open until the last minute, or better yet just have someone else make the decision for me. i hate having to choose stuff, and often wig out just in case my decision has reflected badly upon me or hurt someone else's feeling. This all comes back to what i think is my biggest fault, and i hate myself for it- i care too much about what other people think.

But i now have a decision to make which only i can, and the truth of it is i have to think only about myself and what i want in order for the decision to be effective. when it comes to something like this if i think of other people then in a few years time i may think "bugger, i made the wrong choice". if i do it because i want to do it then it'll never be the wrong choice, even if things don't work out, because it was what i wanted to do at the time.

The only thing is is that i really don't want to make this decision. and i really don't know if i can.

(sigh)

And no, im not gonna write what the decision is, in case i choose one thing, and then there was no point in bringing it up in the first place. the only people who know are my parents and 2 of my closest friends here. and that's how it'll stay. well, maybe the number will go up to 3 closest friends, because the one i'm probably closest too doesn't know yet.

First though, i think i need to decide to do my laundry and tidy my room.

xXx