Kinder Shite- Mine and Charlotte's unlucky shopping trip

Me and Charlotte are pulling an all-nighter tonight for our workload- there's not any point in either of us trying to get any kip- so we decided to go down the shop to get some much needed Red Bull and Pro-Plus.

As we'd been 'working' all day we thought we'd get some treats- Charlotte spotted that revels now had a mystery flavour and i saw that the new toy in Kinder Surprise was a Pirate one- who in their right mind would turn down the opportunity to not only have a kinder surprise but a pirate toy???Not me.

So we get back home and desperately open our sweetie treats, like that mental kid on Charlie and The Chocolate Factory (note to self; his name is Charlie) and we were gobsmacked.

Charlotte's packet of limited edition revels with mystery flavour HAD NO MYSTERY FLAVOUR. There was not a single mystery flavour in that whole sodding packet, just a load of orange chocolate things.

But my ordeal was much worse.
Mine ruined the gentle magical whimsy of 18 years of Kinder Surprise Respect.
Mine looked back at my childhood and went "bah she's old now, let's ruin Kinder Surprise and crush part of her soul".

The Kinder surprise eggs, for those of you who don't know, now have a safety catch on them.

That's right- Health and Safety have gone as far as Egg based treats.

WHAT KIND OF A KINDER SURPRISE HAS A SAFETY CATCH ON IT???
part of the magic of kinder surprise was the risk factor- knowing full well that trying to desperately open the egg with your teeth could be the last thing you do because one side of the plastic egg gets stuck in your throat was what made the whole thing so sublime- it was terrifying but my god it was beautiful and tasty in the end.

And the suspense would build up as you tried to imagine the surprise toy, exasperated that the egg shell cover wasn't coming off straight away but knowing that when it did it would all be worth it. And by the end of it you felt like you earned the surprise toy- i mean, you had risked your life in order to get to it.

And as for the pirate toy??

Oh no- there was no pirate toy;
I got a small plastic dog that can't stand up.

What a bloody joke....