Adrien Brody is watching me pee

Last week I watched 'Brodyquest', and since then Adrien Brody has made an appearance almost every day of my life; Jack suggested we watch 'The Pianist'; Film4 began showing adverts for 'The Darjeeling Limited', and I found Peter Jackson's 'King Kong' recorded on our DVD Drive.

I wondered if it was sheer coincidence, like the time I watched 'Castaway' and then the very next day saw a FedEx van drive through Beccles, even though I'd never seen a FedEx van drive through anywhere before. I didn't know if it was a sign from the universe, trying to tell me I needed to Brody up my life in a big way. A part of me wondered if the conclusion to 'Brodyquest' was becoming a reality. Needless to say, none of the above worried me.

But now Adrien Brody is watching me pee. And he looks a little like my mate's boyfriend which makes it all the more disconcerting. Not that the feeling of having Adrien Brody watch you pee isn't harrowing enough. You see, Brody was on the cover of 'Live' magazine, a supplement that comes with 'The Mail on Sunday'. yes, I know many of you will be far more concerned by the idea of my family buying 'The Daily Mail' than of an Oscar-Winning Actor watching me whizz, but please; try to stay focused.

Sunday Afternoon i went for a quick tinkle, when low and behold there he was, laid out on our toilet floor, watching me pee in all his 2D glory. It was horrible. I closed my eyes, but when i opened them he was still watching. Everywhere i went his eyes followed me. Admittedly this wasn't very far, seeing as i was peeing at the time but i went out of my way to avoid his stare. I then had the ingenious idea of turning the magazine over, but that glorious plan was scuppered when a sultry looking Jenson Button appeared, as if from nowhere on the other side of the magazine, and started trying to sell me sparkly expensive watches from Switzerland. I decided Brody was the lesser of two evils- at least he had the decency to wait 'til I'd finished peeing before he started trying to sell me stuff. When I'd left the loo, I tried explaining to my mother that I found it horrible having Adrien Brody occupy our toilet and watching me pee, but she walked away muttering something about all her children being insane.

He's still in there now, waiting i expect. I've tried moving him twice, but he always finds his way back in there. The recycling comes soon i think though, so hopefully that'll finally put an end to Adrien Brody haunting my toilet.

xXx