An ode to boredom

Here is a poem about the levels of boredom I'm currently experiencing;

There once was a girl called Amy,
Who was so bored she cut off her face.

Yeah, it's not that long.

xXx

Bow Ties are cool- but this is cooler

Oh Mr Smith... You've done it now...



xXx

Does it offend you, yeah?*

Walking back from Jack's today- after having had a simply fantasmagical time with Katie, playing Little Big Planet for the first time and falling in love and then reminiscing with a little Crash Team racing (By far THE greatest racing game of all time) - I came to a pedestrian crossing where an old man was stood waiting. I noticed he hadn't yet pushed the button so i pushed it for the pair of us, to which he turned, smiled thankfully and then mouthed 'thank you' because i was listening to music at the time and had my headphones in.

I like most of the old people in Beccles- and believe me, there are enough to develop opinions of- and so i always try my hardest to come across nice, polite, and throw a smile their way. Some of them are weird and pervy, with lumps appearing in places on their body where there should be no lumps, and smells emitting from places there should be no smells, but the majority of them are lovely company and worth giving a helping hand.

Which is why i was so stunned with what happened next. We'd been stood waiting for the little man to go green for about 20 seconds, when all of a sudden the old man turned, open mouthed with a complete look of disgust on his face and shook his head-AT ME. After double taking a little i looked back at him, equally stunned, and pointed to myself with a questioning look. He shook his head, said something that looked a lot like the words "Completely disgusting behaviour", and shuffled off as the little man turned green. As we reached the other side of the road he looked back over his shoulder, looking totally disappointed in me, before walking away.

I was horrified. How i had caused him to react that way was beyond me, but i couldn't help but feel i'd just upset my Grandad. I shook it off, and walked the rest of the way home.

When i got home and walked into the living room my Ma, sat on the sofa on the other side of the room, started miming, telling me to take out my headphones. I did so, to which she then said "Christ, Amy, how loud is your music?? I could hear every word of that". I looked down at my headphones, blaring "Heaven knows I'm miserable now" ...

Then it hit me;

If Ma, on the other side of the room, could hear my music then the old man stood right next to me at the traffic lights must've been able to hear it.The song i had been listening to at the time was 'Reckless Abandon' by Blink 182, which includes the lines "Trying hard to not get caught/ He fucked a chick in a parking lot", and I realised that the old man must've heard those lines of the song whilst stood next to me, hence the reason why he walked away huffy and disappointed.

Whilst i remain cringing, i can't help but think that somewhere in the world Travis Barker, Tom DeLonge and Mark Hoppus are smiling...

xXx

*I actually hate this band, but thought the title was good . LOLZ.

What(?) I'm NAKED(?!) how did that happen(?)

A guy i know posted a link to FHM's top cover girls, and i couldn't help but be overtly curious. After having a quick perve (CHRISTINA HENDRICKS YUM), i have deduced that quite a few women chose a 'Oh my! I didn't realise anyone was going to see me draped half naked across this chair that i stumbled upon in the middle of the room! how did that happen??' look. You know the one; one arm thrown coyly over their, often ample, assets; legs conveniently crossed to avoid flashing of cooter; with a hand thrown in-front of a shocked :O expression.

I know it's only a constructed, preconceived pose, but it's a stupid one. Because ultimately they're pulling these clueless looks whilst staring down the lens of a big ol' camera, which is being manned by a bloke with a scruffy little beard.

Often, if there is a piece of equipment that records images-like a camera, for instance- and you're stood in front of it then that image can be reproduced and then you'll be seen by other people. I mean, that's what I've been led to believe...so why play dumb?

It's not a problem, i'm just confused as to why why they look confused. Is it sexy to look like that? am i missing something? Am i far more likely to pull if i walk around looking surprised all the time? The next time i'm naked in front of a boy should i look at him as if to say "You know, i'm not entirely sure how or why my clothes came off..."?

I think I'm going to have to put this theory to the test.
If, by some miracle, i actually manage to pull in the next millennium.
xXx

The Foxhole Manifesto

xXx

nameless poem. So called because it has no name. although i 'spose it's name is "nameless poem" now (stoptalking)

I could wait (you know I would)
for decades just to hear, you (should) say it,
thinking it would be the thing that gets me through the day.
But, how well we know, impossible things are just that;
moments in time, that will never occur ,
(not for me, but for her)
fabrications of occasions, lists of things I find amazing,
run from A-Z, like Road maps or phone books
(Fed up of ringing off the hook)
from the very point of every bone
through the beating muscle of every part.
And here I sit...waiting (for a change of heart?) for new breaths to start
faltering, as if by chance,
perhaps a memory will spark?
What was broken will remain, (But, then you’ve always stayed the same)
what comes of it is...
still too far away.

xXx

The Stand-Off

She's not moving, cos she wants the chair i'm sitting on. I'm not moving cos i want the chair i'm sitting on.

Charlie decides to up her game by compromising my laptop. She pushes so many buttons that it shuts itself down.

I give up the chair. I don't think my laptop could stand any more

She's comfy and i've found another chair. Both me and my laptop are covered in fur.

xXx