Science and History; as taught by Pandy

Me: Mum, here's some news; they've changed the astrological star sign dates... thing.
Mum: They've what?
Me: you know how your birthday relates to a star sign-
Mum: Oh, the zodiac?
Me: yeah!! S'been changed now. I'm now an...Aquarius.
Mum: Well, no, that's rubbish, bloody changing them-
Me: Well, no, it's cos-
Mum: Why do they keep bloody changing things??? They got rid of sodding Pluto already!
Me:...erm...but NASA said-
Mum: sod NASA, because they got rid of Pluto for being too small, THEY MAKE THIS CRAP UP AS THEY GO ALONG!I tell you Amy, I went beserk when I found out they got rid of it for being too small,HOW CAN YOU GET RID OF SOMETHING FOR BEING SMALL?? IT'S STILL THERE!
Me: Well, it just wasn't technically a planet anymor-
Mum: It is a planet- IT IS A BLOODY A PLANET!!
Fozz: What are you shouting about now, Ma??
Mum:THAT THEY GOT RID OF PLUTO.
(Fozz sighs, whilst Dad laughs in the back round)
Mum: It's not funny, Andrew! Is that to say small people don't exist, cos small planets don't exist???
Me: Er, no, no I don't think that's what they were saying at al-
Mum: It's rubbish, it's rubbish, it's all crap. Short people make the history!
Me: The history??
Mum: They make the history yeah, maybe not for good things, but you know Napoleon. AND Hitler. The fact they were tiny made history.
Me: I never started any history lessons with the tinier you are, the more history you'll make, although not necessarily for a good reason
Mum: Hitler- He was tiny. And he only had one gonad. and he had a moustache. Not good really, is it, for old Hitler??
Me: *speechless* Well- er
Mum: do not ever let Pluto go, Amy. We short people have to stick together.
Me:...does this mean I now have to advocate Napoleon and Hitler?

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