15 things you only ever say whilst playing 'Tomb Raider II'

1) WHY WON'T YOU DO AS YOU'RE TOLD, YOU BIG TITTED BITCH??

2) She runs towards them when I tell her to jump sideways, and doesn't ever aim at the bastards. DOES SHE WANT TO DIE??

3) Oh SHIT, I've run out of flares and have no idea where I parked my boat.

4) I have over 400 Uzi clips, but no Uzi. What's the point?

5) It took 5 shotgun shots, the entirety of my automatics ammunition and a further minute of pistol shooting before the big guy in the opera house would go down. And he had A LOT of dogs.

6) Then they had the audacity to take my f**king grenade launcher from me.

7) ARGH Bad-Guy Scuba Diver! Bloody harpoon gun does sod all!

8) HE SHOT ME WITH A F**KING FLAME THROWER!! WHO DOES THAT??

9) I don't know where this shark's come from, but it's royally pissing me off.

10) I found a really easy way to defeat the Dragon!

11) My motto is constantly have your guns out, because you don't know when some burly f**ker is gonna come round the corner.

12) The Eagles always try to kill me.

13) The next bit's the bit with the yeti, yeah?

14) Nah, The Monks help kill the burly gun guys who break into the Monastery.

15) I already locked the Butler in the freezer