From the age of 13- 18 i was under the assumption that friends last for life. I had connected with people around me, one of them so much so we had visions of us sitting together in an retirement home laughing and joking and growing old.
If University has taught me one thing it's that things change; and yet, it still hurts me a lot that, today i had to forget the people who i spent over 5 years thinking were the best friends i would ever come across. People i could really see as the best people to surround myself with , who would help and comfort me when i needed it. Who would be there. Forgetting any relationship is never easy, but forgetting friendship's is one of the hardest things to do.
The memories i have and the moments from the past aren't meaningless- i look back and laugh at what happened rather than cry at what's lost. But what happened to change it so that those moments suddenly became meaningless? so that i could easily be ignored and out of favour? I understand that going away means new friends and new connections; in fact no one knows this better than me. But to forget the ones you spent years making...why count them as null and void just because there are new things in your life? Just share them with your old friends! make them a part of it!
I'll never understand how we all went from talking everyday for hours to not talking at all for over a year. But the friends i've made in Canterbury who really know me for me and don't just skim over the detail, let me know that i'm worth far more than the way i'm being treated now. So i choose to forget, not the memories, but the way in which things have ended, and move on. It's no use to carry on crying over the same thing for 7 years. Only real friends are worth something like that, and even then they'd never upset me so much.
xXx
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