Sobriety rules

A surprisingly good night considering it was spent in 100% sobriety and in the venue. I knew that sounds really awful, to say that you can't have fun drunk, but the venue is notorious for having commonly occurring moments of being utterly shite. Tonight wasn't one of those times, which i think we all appreciated

When we got there it was completely empty- at one point we were the only people on the top floor, apart from the bar staff. we went downstairs and it gradually filled up with people, but not that full. Me, Connie, Vicki, Claire and Emma all had a proper good laugh sitting around drinking lemonade and J20- we spotted some people who were dressed like Mr Men- well, they'd tried to, and failed dismally. the disdain emanating from our group was breathtaking, and captured perfectly in this conversation;

(Claire notices them and grabs my arm to point them out)
Me:HEY!Use you're own arm, lazy cow
Claire:But look, they're blue!!
Me:What? (sees them) oh my god. THAT ONES YELLOW!
Connie: There's a purple one!! What are they ON?!
Vicki: I think they're trying to be Mr Men...
Claire:Oh Yeah look- they have badges
Me: Well, they've failed dismally
Connie:They look like such dicks

It was very funny. me and con sat there going "MR MEN FWEND!!"

after a while we went upstairs and got food, then went to go get another drink, when this happened;

(Me and Connie go to the bar)
Connie: Can i get a J20?
Me: I thought you were getting-
(A very well built bloke grabs me by the shoulder, and pulls me to him)
Me:Wha-
Bloke:Listen- your tits are so big that you're gonna get served before me, so here's two pounds- you can buy my drink for me.
Me:(Stunned pause)...Er...Wh...What did you just say?!
Connie:What did you say??!!
Bloke: Your tits- they're huge. well, definitely bigger than mine haha. so you'll get served first
(drops £2 into my hand)

The bloke behind the bar was as stunned as i was. i got his drink, he started chatting to me about how he was a third year on the brink of finishing an English course, and he wouldn't move his arm from around me. so i peeled it off and just saying calmly "I'm gonna go over there now" to which he replied "Sure thing babes- cheers for the drink". I turned to Connie and made her almost piss herself laughing by saying "What, so my tits were big enough to buy him a drink, but not to buy me one?". Excellent.

After my breasts had been exploited for alcohol, we sat down, and i instantly saw possibly the most attractive man i have ever laid eyes on. I literally could not stop looking at him, neither could Connie, and even Claire-who's in a relationship- was astounded by him. he was just incredible. This is what happened as we watched;

(Me and Connie are staring at him)
Claire: You guys, stop staring
Me: I can't..i actually can't...he's so fit...
Connie:I cannot believe how good looking he is...you always forget when you're in the venue that there's an upstairs where people actually hang out...
Me: I say we should come up here more often...
Connie: Next time we go we'll come back up here, have a look
Me: Amen to that...He is amazing
Connie: Total Player though
Me:Yeah. if, by some miracle, he is single he's either a player, or gay- a guy like that is never single
(A gorgeous, thin blonde girl comes in, and he leaves with her)
Connie: Damn.
Me:No man!Don't go for the gorgeous, tall, blonde stereotype!!For once in your life GO for the short, fat brunette geek!!
Connie: Don't you mean ginger?
(I break down into over dramatic fake sobs)
Claire: Wanna go
Connie and Me: No need to stay anymore, now he's gone

Yes- we are that sad. God, he was gorgeous. i mean like, Hollywood star gorgeous. We all agreed he was one of the fittest people we'd ever seen in real life. Cooooor.

we walked back, freezing because we were minus the alcohol cloak, and me and Connie watched three episodes of 'The Inbetweeners' with a nice ol' cup of tea.

a good night was had by all. Nite nite

xXx