LOUD NOISES

There was just a sound outside that very much resembled the sound of a Spaceship or something. like a 'wer-wer-wer-wer-WUM-WUM-WUM-werwerwer' sound. Yeah, that makes sense.

Tonight has been a night of strange sounds, actually. whilst doing the washing up, my sink tried to swallow my kitchen in it's entirety with an almighty 'SLURP'. I got kinda freaked out because of how loud it was, pulled my arms back quickly and accidentally knocked a mug off of the side. Sigh. Poor mug. R.I.P.

Then the washing machine made a noise that suggested at any moment Leonardo DiCaprio would waltz in with Ellen Page, Tom Hardy and (my future husband) Joseph Gordon-Levitt to talk to me about dreams. This was especially weird seeing as the washing machine wasn't even on at the time.

I took out the rubbish and when I closed the bin lid it sounded like a gunshot. I then went back to my front door mimicking gun shots with my hands in the shape of pistols and walking like a cowboy. Luckily it was dark, so no one saw; but I had put on the first shoes I could get hold of, which just happened to be my purple stilettos which are actually too big for me, and I was wearing baggy pyjama bottoms, so I'm sure if anyone did see me they would've thought I looked super cool.

Whilst I was in the bathroom I heard my neighbours having sex. Me and Emma always hear our neighbours; the walls between these houses are made out of what's commonly referred to as 'tracing paper', and our neighbours are very loud; whenever they open/close their front door door it sounds like someone opening/closing our front door. Then there was that EPIC moment when I was peeing and the guy who's bedroom is adjacent to our bathroom started playing the Mortal Kombat theme tune. I can't complain about that, really, though, because it was made of wow. But yeah, I was brushing my teeth and heard the tell-tale 'ohhhh' of a fella getting SOME. At first I was like 'Wait, I can't hear anyone else, EWW what if I'm accidentally listening to him making out with Mrs right?' but then the lady started up and I felt like less of a pervert. I don't know why in my head it was better to hear the sex noises of two people rather than just one. Probably because getting laid is cooler than giving yourself a friendly wave.

xXx