21

I'm writing this on the eve of my 21st Birthday. I figured since it's a milestone I should write an awesome blog which is really reflective, deep and meaningful; philisophical phillosophical philosophical, even. A blog which demonstrates just how far my writing has come, and how paying over £3000 for higher education is really worth it. But then I had to double check how to spell 'philosophical' so I gave up on that last one.

Had the thirteen year old me known about myself what the almost-twenty-one year old me now does I wouldn't have worried half as much. When I started to think about it more, I wondered what I would actually say to thirteen year old me, as I'm just about to start high school. If there were ten things I could say, what would those ten things be?

Amy's Guide to Amy
1) Don't let mum & dad persuade you that a bowl-cut style fringe will neither be ridiculed nor look ridiculous. they are liars.
2) Don't take Chemistry at AS Level; your teacher will tell you there's little-to-no maths involved, and she too will be lying. You will want to cry after every lesson and will end up with an E grade.
3) Don't fall for that guy in your first ever physics lesson. Unless you want the next 5 years to be a mixture of confusing, frustrating and generally wasted.
4) If someone tells you you're fat, tell them to fuck off. I know at this age you hate swearing, but believe me, that won't last much longer either. You're gorgeous; ignore them.
5) In Sixth Form, when you and Joe C think it's a really funny idea to put the bins in E8 on your head and run towards each other playing 'Bin Wars', with Jack filming it, DON'T DO IT. At the last minute Joe ducks and your headache begins when you smash to the ground and doesn't end until half-way through the next day.
6) Old habits die hard- but try to not worry what other people think. Cos you do, WAY to much.
7) When you and Jack G decided to play with that drill in your Resistant Materials lesson, make sure Jack G stands further away from you so that he doesn't get hit by that flying plank of wood. Also- when the guy with the shaved eyebrow points a staple gun at you, don't say "You wouldn't dare!", because he would, sweetie; The staple gun held in his hand as a weapon should be enough to tell you that anyway.
8) When walking away from the computer room in F corridor, don't think it hilarious to flick Gavin M and Jack G the V sign- Mr Edwards will catch you, and he will shout in your face so loudly that you will run back to A2 whilst trying desperately not to cry, and be slightly terrified of him from that moment onwards.
9) Using the epic song 'I'm Your Man' by Wham! in your (later victorious) Head Girl speech will go down a treat.
10) Some people are going to be a lot harder to let go of than others, but it's all neccessary. The weight falling off your shoulders feels incredible, and makes you realise how much you were being held back by the people you thought cared for you.

When I was writing that I started thinking 'Wait, they're all school related' but between the ages of like 10-18 everything IS school related. Well, it was for me. Now everything's Uni related, and in a few months time it'll be OH GOD THEY'VE PULLED THE SOFT CUSHION OF EDUCATION FROM UNDERNEATH ME WHAT IN THE NAME OF WHAT DO I DO NOW?? related. Then in about 5 years time it'll be Oh, hello BAFTA award related and in 10 Oh HEYY Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay related. mebbe. :)

I've achieved a lot of the things I'd wanted to by the time I was 21. And I think it's pretty cool that I know what I want to do with my life. It's just the idea of officially being an adult and expected to go out and do those things to the best of your ability and achieve YOUR LIFE'S GOAL is quite daunting. Because for me I feel like this is it, now; I have to start living my life. The things I want I now have to achieve; I want to become a writer so I have to become a writer; I want to live in London so I have to find a way to move to, and stay in, London; I want to marry Joseph Gordon-Levitt, so I have to meet and find a way to enthrall* Joseph Gordon-Levitt (*read kidnap). The fact is, growing up is suddenly a phrase that holds more meaning to it. I am officially an adult, and as such my life is my own; as are my successes, my mistakes, my responsibilties and my goals. There's no one else to fall back on, I am actually growing up. It's scary.

When you grow up, do you have to stop randomly making cat noises?
...What do you mean that it's not socially acceptable at any age?
WELL NOBODY TOLD ME.

xXx