Facebook: Friend or Foe?

I have always had a bit of a problem with Facebook. Turning up at Uni during freshers, I was berated for not having it, or for not wanting to be on it; catcalls of 'Oh my god, but how can you not have Facebook??' would follow me from club to pub. But after months of being told how amazing it was I caved, and joined it.

At first I threw myself into it, tagging pictures, posting on walls, liking groups that had names such as 'Not being set on fire' and 'I hate fat people because they ruined Jurassic Park' and poking for all I was worth. But after a while I realised that my 'Friend List' was full of people who's faces I didn't recognise and most of the ones I did know I didn't even like or had just never had conversation with them. And so began the age of Facebook culling. I would go through all of my friends and delete around 50 every time, until I was left with under half the amount I used to have. This is where the problem started.

You see, to me Facebook isn't a massive statement about who I am and who the people I'm friends with are. There's no opinion of mine on there-i have my blog and twitter for that. I got rid of all my silly 'likes' around the same time the culling began, and made it so it was simply a method of contacting me. So you see, although sometimes I did delete people because I didn't like them, the majority of the time it was because we never contacted each other, so there was no point them being on there. But people seemed to genuinely take offence at the fact I had deleted them on Facebook!! Up on campus I would be stopped by people who would look at me as if I'd slapped them and say 'WHY did you delete ME on FACEBOOK?!?' to which I would often reply 'Er, because this moment is literally either A) the first time we have ever spoken or B) the first time you've spoken to me in about 6 months'. It was ridiculous! It's a website! If everyone was offended by the behaviour of somebody on something that ended with '.com' then the world would not talk to each other. You can't explain it like that though; people have actually accepted Facebook- a website- as a method of knowing how a person feels about you. They judge emotion via a flickering screen.

It was at this point I realised something was wrong. Today I began to realise just how much Facebook bothers me, but it's hard to explain why. Because I've always seen it as a way of keeping in contact with people, I think it's silly that there are options for games, or crazes that sweep across your news feed. Recently everyone has been changing their profile pictures to be that of cartoon characters in order to stop child abuse. I mean, could there actually be anything more absurd about that last sentence?? But in the world of Facebook- and yes, it has become a world- this is the norm.

When I first mentioned today that I was getting rid of my account the response was a little bit phenomenal. Not numbers wise- not many people really cared, for which I cannot blame them- but just the incredulous-ness of some people, who quite frankly couldn't believe I was going to delete it. That's right- I was semi-judged for not using a website anymore. A WEBSITE. I cannot stress enough, just how trivial a thing Facebook SHOULD be, but just isn't. it's deemed integral now, to general society. Me and Alex spoke about it, and he said that he was worried I would feel out of the loop of our friendship group because i wouldn't be able to see things everyone had posted on walls or comments on photos, and he had a point- i would. But, as i said to him, HOW fucked up is it, that i am massively close to this group of people, the best of friends, like brothers and sisters, and yet because I wasn't on a website I would feel out of touch with them, out of the loop. It's insanity.

I was going to delete my facebook tomorrow, not indefinitely, just to see whether or not it actually bothered me if i went on it or not. Just to measure how much I need it, to be honest. But I was clueless as to how much of it i would lose, which in itself sounds ridiculous, but let me explain; before University i didn't have Facebook. And so it is a memory of not only the 2 and a bit years I've been here, but also of how I've changed. I mean, technically speaking, I wouldn't throw away any of the letters or notes that have been written to me by my friends in the last 2 and a bit years, and although there's a lot on there i wouldn't mind getting rid of there are some thing's I'd like to keep. Between friends, I actually like facebook. i shouldn't lose the memories i want to keep just because the ones i couldn't care less about exist too.

So what I've done instead is asked a, very trustworthy friend, to change my password for me, and I'm going to refuse to go onto facebook for the next week. I'm going to document everything; from how people react when I talk to them about the possibility of me deleting my account to how many times i feel i want to go on it or say the word 'facebook' aloud, and keep you all updated on this blog. It'll be interesting to see how I feel about it once the week is done, and even more so to realise this week how much i depend on it.

I'm not a hypocrite- i understand why people love it so much, and that it's just that times are changing, and this is the way they've gone. But I'm an old fashioned girl- and to me there just seems so little an amount of effort involved in facebook. Your closest friends lay amongst people you barely know, so easily; and hardly anyone calls or texts anyone anymore. So we'll see how I deal with it. but the fact is; i was fine 2 and a bit years ago.have i really come to depend on it so much in such a short period of time? only one way to find out...

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