My mum and The Wire

(I'm on web cam with my dad)
Me: So have you had any luck finding my cinema booklet and that disc with 'The Wire' on it?
Dad: No darling, sorry. I've looked everywhere. Are you sure they're not with you?
Me: Pretty Damn sure, yeah...
Dad:... What about under your bed?
Me(Annoyed): Dad, just because everything at home turns up under my bed, that doesn't mean the same thing happens here
Dad: Alright, gay. I was just asking.
(Mum comes in the living room)
Mum: What's wrong?
Dad: Can't find her book and that disc she borrowed from her mate
Me: Hi Ma!
Mum: Hi darling! (To my dad) Well have you looked for them at all?
Dad: Yeah, can't find them
Mum: Under her bed?
Dad: Yeah, i had a look but-
Me: Hello? Olds? i'm pretty sure they won't be under my bed
Mum: What colour is it?
Dad: What colour is it again, Pest?
Me: Blue
Mum: What kind of blue?
Me:...Blue, it's just blue
Dad: Light or Dark blue?
Me: Er...i dunno, Chelsea colour blue
Mum: I'll go have a look
(Mum leaves. Me and Dad continue to chat until 10 minutes later mum comes back, with the cinema booklet in hand)
Mum: Here ya go
Me: How did you find that?!
Mum: I looked
Dad: Where was it?
Mum: Under her bed
Me: (Sighs)
Mum: I couldn't find the wire though darling, sorry
Me: Dinnae worry missus
Mum: What do you need it for anyway?
Me: It's my friends, i need to give it back to him
Mum: Oh, is it for his computer then?
Me:...Huh?
Mum: The wire...is it for his computer?
Me: No mum, he wants to watch it, i spose, or lend it to someone
Mum: Why would you want to watch a wire?
Me (Trying VERY hard not to laugh at her): No, Ma, not A wire- it's The Wire. It's a TV show
Mum: What so you're not after an actual white wire?
Me: No mum. it was a disc with 'The Wire' written on it
Mum: Right.
Me: Sorry mum
(Dad laughs)
Mum: You can shut up- you couldn't even find a bloody booklet
Me: True story Old Man- Bad effort. shape up or ship out.
Dad (To me): You want me to send this to you?
(I smile at the camera)
Dad: Right then.

I do bloody love my Panders.

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