Bird Poo

So this morning I was out in my back garden, reading 'American Psycho' and watching the birds flit about as they always do, when one of the bastards decides to drop me a little present. That's right - I got pooed on by a bird.

Now, i got away with it quite well - it only hit my legs, which were leaning on a little wall, so there were no head-shots. Almost wrote 'head-shits' then, what a suitable freudian slip.

I've never been pooed on by a bird before, ever, so at first i though it was raining or something when a little drop splattered on my legs. last time I checked though, rain isn't yellow, so I figured it out soon enough. At first i just sat there swearing at the sky, but after cleaning myself up i remembered the old wives tale that being pooed on by a bird brings you good luck. I decided to make a note pf all the good luck I had today, and all the bad luck i had to day, and see if it held any truth.

Good Luck

- After 6 days of waiting, a DVD* I ordered finally turned up

- I went for a wander and discovered a (beautiful!) part of Canterbury I didn't even know existed, including a little farm with donkeys, goats, cheep and chickens!

- After getting back from the wander I watched 'Cherrybomb'* and simultaneously perved over Robert Sheehan AND Rupert Grint. Who's Northern Irish accent, btw, was THE TITS <--- technical term

- Stepped out in-front of a car on London Road and DIDN'T, by sheer miracle, get hit. Hats off to the breaks of that Volvo.

Bad Luck

- I tripped over on my wander and hurt my toe

- I decided to walk into town wearing no make-up, having not washed my hair that day and wearing a baggy top that made me look pregnant because 'It's not like I'm gonna bump into anyone' and bumped into Sexy Starbucks Guy.

- The reason I went into town was to buy hair dye (hence the unwashed hair) and they didn't have any

- I burnt my middle finger really badly, and all under my nail.

From the day's events I have come to this conclusion;

When a bird shits on you your day runs the exact same course that it would have done had the bird not shit on you, except that more people say the words 'Ah, but it brings good luck!!' to you, and you find yourself cursing birds under your breath whilst washing their poo off of your legs.

xXx