Teenage Glory days (TGD)

My brother Joe George (or Fozz) is the bassist in a pretty amazing band called Teenage Glory Days with Sam Crocker (guitar) and Shaun Dawson (drums). This here is 'A Day in the life of TGD', i suggest you all watch, and then check out their facebook page :)

PS I know you're all thinking i'm naturally obliged to say that they're great, btw, but it's the truth. They are pretty daym good.

xXx

Living the dream

I'm almost halfway through my third and final year of Uni and i'm terrified. I genuinely avoid thinking about what's going to happen come next June when I'm kicked out of the warm cocoon of education into the Big Bad World to make it by myself. Even more so because I was stupid enough to dedicate my life to a career which revolves far too much around luck and perfect timing; i actually question my sanity, considering I'm the least 'lucky' person I know and i'm always late. But I need to stop having panic attacks everytime someone asks me what I want to do after Uni and start trying to sort myself out.

After Uni has finished I will have to live at home. That's just the way it is. But for me, this is one of the most terrifying prospects- I love seeing my family, don't get me wrong. They're amazing and I think the world of them. But to go from being entirely independent, from having more freedom then my mind can deal with sometimes, back to this scheduled place where there are rules and regulations, where I can't even get a text message without being asked who it's from? It makes me sad. I'm the kind of person who needs things to be happening in order to keep my head above water. The summer before i left for Uni I had 4 months off, and couldn't find work- i actually became depressed, simply because there was nothing to do, nothing to motivate me, nothing to push me to act on all the ideas i had or the things I wanted to do. Beccles is wonderful; if you go there on holiday. For someone like me it's the worst place to live. Everyone there is happy to have these quiet, sensible lives, and be normal, no one pushes any boundaries and no one expects to make much of themselves. I know that for some, if not most, people the idea of marrying your childhood sweetheart and setting up home and having a secure job and house in the country is the the ideal and there's nothing wrong with that! it's awesome if that's what you want from life, kudos for finding it. But I'm not like that. I need more. I needed to leave home, and the person i've become since i left for Uni? I wish i could go back to 17-18 year old Amy and just say to her "This? This isn't it. You're nowhere near finding yourself yet, chin up. it's gonna be alright". I guess it's a good thing that i didn't have to wait that long to find out.

But now i'm facing the prospect of having to go back to that, back to there and i'm terrified i'm gonna sink. I'm having trouble keeping my head above water as it is, but once i've gone back to that quiet secluded part of my life i fear i'm just going to fall back into place. Sure i won't fit at first, but it's got a knack of making you into something you're not, Beccles.

The plan was to take a year out to raise money, go to New Zealand with Connie and then study in London. London... I just KNOW once i get there i'll find exactly what i'm looking for. It's the most wonderful combination of pessimism and magical whimsy that I need to support my similar personality. It's unreal in it's wonder; The size of it- you can walk three minutes and find yourself in a whole other world; the sheer mass of people that surround you, and bustle you; the shapes, the beauty that envelopes the skyline, the streets. I once stood between two glass buildings whilst the sun went down and their reflections danced off of each other on either side of me, seemingly reaching the clouds and carrying on into the sky. It's breathtaking. But whilst being unreal it's so sensible, too, and kind of freakishly normal; the people there go to work, go home, and repeat as needed; some of the roads are so full of traffic you have to yell in order to hold a conversation; there are a ridiculous amount of Starbucks; pigeons OWN you. And yet you leave work, look up and see the building you've just left was built to look like a boat. Or you turn and see a light projection bouncing off the wall opposite you, showing you someones artistic efforts and imagination. You walk from one of those Starbucks and you find yourself stood between two massive stone Lions. Or next to a gigantic wheel that spins people around. Or outside a gate that stands before a palace- YES AN ACTUAL PALACE. Lewis Carroll couldn't write that shit man, there is A PALACE in the middle of a bustling city. The magic of it is... it's so strangely compelling and out of place. But it works, and my heart aches a little at the thought of not living there.

The more i think about the things i want the more terrified i become at the prospect of not achieving any of them. But i need to put myself out there and risk losing a lot in order to get back what i want from life. I know that i will live in London one day, and whilst part of my mind thinks 'not for a while, though' the other part of my mind says 'er...why's that then? why not just do something about it and see what happens?'. Well, crazy, impulsive part of my mind that sounds a little like the narrator from (500) Days of Summer. I think i will.

xXx

The Little Match Girl

I just had the strangest moment.
I was sat in my living room, reading Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde for my seminar next week, with Emma on the next sofa. We didn't have the telly on, because I was too busy trying to get past the first page of DJMH and Emma was on her laptop, and there was complete silence, except for the washing machine sounding like it was throwing a hissy fit in the kitchen next door.

After triumphantly making it to the second page, I got to half way down the page when i read the following line; "Tramps slouched into the recess and struck matches on the panels". Instantly my mind flashed the image of me, my brother and my sister when we were younger, a lot younger, around 1997, all sat on the 3 beds that were pushed together to create Kage, Fozz's and my bed in the room that is now mine and Kage's. We were all in our pyjamas, and tucked up, with the curtains open and the sky a really pale blue, as if the day was just holding on a little longer than it should. We were being read to by our baby-sitter Kate, who was the daughter of our neighbour from across the road; we had a baby-sitter for a while whilst we were younger, whilst my dad worked the night shift at his job and my mum worked as a barmaid. She was reading to us from our favourite book, the original fairy tales of Hans Christian Anderson, which we always asked for. I know that the original tales probably weren't the nicest things for children to hear, but we've never been a family for normality (To this day the little mermaid for me is still a tale of sorrow and fear, having never seen the Disney version and I don't intend to. I like my fairy tales mean)

The story Kate was reading to us was that of 'The Little Match Girl', and in literally seconds of reading the line from DJMH i blurted out-loud "Oh my god, The Little Match Girl!", by which Emma was very confused. The whole moment that, until now I had forgotten, was as vivid as if i had been sat there again, listening to Kate read. I think the reason the memory is so vivid is because 'The Little Match Girl' was the first ever story I can remember that I cried at after hearing it. The story itself is so beautiful, and not very long at all- if you can find it online I heartily suggest reading it, also, you'll realise why my mind made the connection between that line from DJMH to it. It's one of the most affecting things I've ever read, which I obviously didn't know at the age of 7 whilst first hearing it, but the fact that it's stuck in my head along with such an incredibly vivid image let's me know how much it moved me, and how easily it was impressed into the back of my mind. It's so simple, but so amazingly poetic and emotional.

The whole moment, and how quickly it all happened, was really intense, and literally happened about 20 minutes ago. The memory is still really strong now, and it just strikes me as odd that I can still remember things from over a decade ago, that I never even considered to be of any importance, or any significance at the time. Strange how some things can affect you so subtly, isn't it?

xXx

Remembrance Day

(This is probably my favourite poem ever )

Perhaps some day the sun will shine again,
And I shall see that still the skies are blue,
And feel once more I do not live in vain,
Although bereft of You.

Perhaps the golden meadows at my feet
Will make the sunny hours of spring seem gay,
And I shall find the white May-blossoms sweet,
Though You have passed away.

Perhaps the summer woods will shimmer bright,
And crimson roses once again be fair,
And autumn harvest fields a rich delight,
Although You are not there.

But though kind Time may many joys renew,
There is one greatest joy I shall not know
Again, because my heart for loss of You
Was broken, long ago.

-Vera Brittain

xXx

Living in a ganster's paradise, aka Bishop's Way.

We were sat about 3 feet from each other in our living room when this happened.
Cos we is 'ard, innit blud?

AMY G-UNIT vs EM C H(e)UNG

MUTHAAFUCKAAAAA!!!

(You have to click to see the image properly)

xXx

Semi Live Blog: Working in an Upmarket Department Store

Here is a Semi-Live blog i wrote whilst working my first full day at an Upmarket Department Store*. I've never worked in retail before. ever.

08:59am
Ok, so work hasn't even technically started yet, and already i've mucked up the psion system and i think I've broken the phone.
Also when i answered the phone I totally forgot phone protocol and just ended up saying 'Err err, wait, i forgot what I'm supposed to say-' to which the phoner replied 'Er, hello usually works'.
OH GOD WHY DID SHE LEAVE ME ALONE ON MY FIRST DAY?!?!?

09:02am
At least I look pretty. I may be fucking up, but i look pretty.

09:11am
I officially have a new best friend. Her name is Pauline and she works in the alterations department. She is FAB. She's sympathetic to my plight. my plight being that I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT I'M DOING.

Time? I don't know. I got told off by J for having my phone in the draw of the desk so i had to get rid of it and there are no clocks on the shop floor. But then again why would you need clocks in a place where time. stands. still. J's phone is now where mine was. Hypocritical cow.

Around 11 i guess
J sorted out the Psion situation. afterwards she turned to me and scathingly said 'An idiot could do this job, Amy. ok?'

Later in the day
I've already helped old ladies spend over £250 this morning. I feel guilty, like i'm stealing from them. I'm sure this isn't how sales people are supposed to feel- guilty.

Later in the daaay
An old lady flashed me. Pulled back the changing room curtain as i approached it with a different size skirt for her and was stood there in her, surprisingly small, underwear. I DID NOT SIGN ON FOR THIS.

Later
Currently sat in the staff restaurant. No phones allowed, and still no clocks. I don't know what drink to have. I want something cold but all they have is fizzy stuff and i'm scared to drink them in case i burp in some old person's face.

Later
MAKING A LORRA LORRA SALES BLINDA DATA

Around 12:45pm
Holy shit. I've just noticed the christmas decorations up in here. Christmas Decorations. IT'S NOT EVEN FUCKING HALLOWEEN YET.

Afternoon time
Just received a 'Round Robin' from Tunbridge Wells, that I had to forward to Beales in Haversham regarding graphics. Had no idea what i was saying but FUCK that felt professional.

Afternoon time later
J just came over to me with a bottle of perfume, put it on the desk and then said 'Here you go. Just in case you start to smell'. ?????????????????????????????????????????????????

Sometimes after 15:30pm
Just saw myself in the mirror. I need to get my hair cut.

time
Oh my word the lingerie in the area of the shop floor next to mine is stunningly beautiful. I've spent half my time ogling at it and the other half thinking of how i'm going to spend my payslip on it.

Close to 17:00pm
AWW BEAM!! C just came over and said 'Have you ever done this before? and I said 'No' and she said 'you're an absolute natural. You're excellent with the customers, you speak so well to them! I'm very impressed!' Also J set me a target of £500 worth of sales - i made £870!!
YEEEAAAH BWOIIII!
Still bored as fuck, though.

You can tell that towards the end i just stopped caring.
xXx

Dancing with the Star Wars Stars

OK, so basically Vicki told me she had something amazing to show me. ONce she did i felt it was only right to pass on the amazingness to you lovely lot. Because, and i mean this;
THIS. IS. EPIC.

2007


2008


2009


2010


Now don't say I never give you nuthin'

xXx